There are lots of reasons why people hesitate to ring a therapist
- They think their difficulty is not serious enough, they are not unhappy enough, there are people much worse off, perhaps they are just neurotic or discontented
- They think they are too messed up
- They can’t put their sadness into words so how can they describe what’s wrong to someone else
- They think the therapist will laugh, tell them not to waste the therapists time or (worse) tell them that there is something seriously wrong with them
- They fear that the therapist will judge them because their difficulty is so awful
- They don’t want to tell talk to a stranger about personal things.
- They don’t know where to start – it’s not like ringing a plumber.
Why you should ring
Actually initially it is very much like ringing a plumber- I’ve put myself out there in order to let potential clients know that I’m offering a service: when I do that I’m hoping that someone will want to access that service. Most therapists offer a free consult so that you can assess whether or not they are people you can talk to, there is no obligation; some people book after the consult, some go away to think about it, some are seeing more than one therapist and are going to reach a decision when they’ve met them all (I would recommend people do that in order to find someone who suits you best). Some people decide it’s not for them. Therapists do not expect every consultation to result in a booking.
What about your fears
- We see lots of people who are not suffering from mental illnesses with extreme symptoms, in fact if someone is suffering from extreme symptoms they may well be too ill for talking and in need of other kinds of therapy. If you are unhappy, confused, unfilled, anxious a therapist may be. able to help.
- I’ve never met anyone who was too messed up for therapy, after all we’ve all had what appeared to be unsolvable problems, we’ve all be unhappy and confused.
- If you are confused and don’t have the words that is precisely where a therapist can help - we are trained to unravel tangled thoughts and feelings
- No therapist will laugh at you if you come with a difficulty, they may not be able to help but they will probably be able to sign-post you to someone else, you certainly won’t be accused of wasting their time,
- We hear all sorts of experiences and behaviours, some are extreme, therapists trained to receive anything that a client brings with understanding and kindness. We are hard to shock.
- It can be hard to open up to a stranger but sometimes the fact that it is a stranger makes it easier: the time is yours, you don’t have to worry about our feelings-you don’t need to be polite and listen to our stuff, you don’t have to see your therapist in your daily life and you don’t have to worry about what we will say about you afterwards because we’re not allowed to discuss you at all.
So why not pick up the phone and book a consult (or more than one) - what have you got to lose?