Sorted Magazine

Author: Val Fraser

  • Interview: Social media sensation and best selling author FitWaffle

    Interview: Social media sensation and best selling author FitWaffle

    It was lovely to interview the TikTok sensation, best-selling author and social media star Eloise Head who is also known as FitWaffle.

    Interview

    Steve Legg (SL): Eloise, how lovely to see you. I can’t believe how thin you are, as you make such amazing cakes.

    Eloise Head (EH): It’s all about balance and moderation. That’s my motto.

    SL: I love that. So is it Eloise? Is it FitWaffle, is it Fit is it Waffs? What do I call you?

    EH: I’ve never been called Waffs but I quite like it. My real name is Eloise, but many people call me FitWaffle. I created it about seven years ago when I first started my brand, and it has a few meanings. When I began, I was working as a personal trainer. So that’s one meaning of the ‘Fit’ part. But it also means fitting all foods into your diet. And then the ‘Waffle’ part also means waffling on because if you know me well, you know I tend to talk quite a lot. So it’s a combination of fitness and food and then fitting all sorts of foods into your diet and waffling on.

    SL: Oh, I like it. I didn’t get that at all. I thought you were really into waffles. What are your favourite waffles?

    EH: I do like waffles. I like a waffle with a bit of peanut butter on, some fruit or even just the straight-up maple syrup.

    SL: So there you go. You heard it here first. Eloise, did you start cooking at school? We used to call it Home Economics back in my day. Is that where you first got into baking?

    EH: Sorry, that’s what my mum used to call it too! I did do cooking at school. But it wasn’t very much. We did a little bit of what we called, Food Tech.

    SL: Do you prefer more savoury or sweet? Because obviously, your cakes are very sweet.

    EH: I prefer sweet; I have a real sweet tooth. I prefer making sweet food as well. I find it more fun, and the outcome’s always pretty and tasty.

    SL: How do you keep fit?

    EH: I go to the gym four to five times a week; I always have done really. I’ve always been active. I’m on my feet for most of the day. And I walk regularly as well. So I’m generally very busy, but I also have a balanced diet. So I don’t eat everything on my social media, you know, I don’t devour a whole tray of brownies or an entire cheesecake every day. But you know, I will have a slice of a brownie or cake almost daily alongside what I usually eat. So you know, fruits and vegetables and all the things that get my nutrients in simultaneously. It’s just balancing my energy input with my energy output.

    SL: You describe yourself as a self-taught baker but isn’t baking very scientific and precise, right?

    EH: Yeah, there’s a lot of trial and error with baking. You have to learn the basics when it comes to baking. And you have to do a bit of research along the way. With cooking, you can experiment and it will probably turn out okay. But with baking, you do have to learn, so you have to start by following other recipes, find out why it works, you know, and do a bit of research if it goes wrong as to why it didn’t work. And then from there, you can progress, and with that knowledge, you can start creating your own creations.

    SL: Your social media stats are pretty breathtaking. Four billion views across social media in 2022. The most followed foodie female on social media with an impressive 10.3 million followers across social platforms. The only UK Food creator with 100 million views on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube. Everyone’s heard of you, the sixth most viewed UK video on Tiktok in 2022 and the top viewed food TikTok account in the UK. How does that happen? That doesn’t happen by mistake, does it?

    EH: I know it sounds crazy when you read it back .Yeah, that’s all correct. You know what? I don’t even know. I love creating content. And obviously, I must be quite good at it because people like watching my videos. And the more I do it, the better it gets. You know, I wasn’t always good at it. When I’ve looked back at my original pictures, they’re hilarious. And even my videos, when I started making recipe videos at the beginning of the lockdown. I cringe when I hear them back because my voiceovers are so slow, and everything’s so poorly put together. So I’ve improved over the past three years I’ve been creating videos. And it’s something I’ve been doing almost every day, editing and all of that sort of stuff, literally for the past two and a half years. So it’s knowing your audience, and it’s getting better and better every time.

    Footnote: You can listen to the rest of this conversation with Eloise on my weekly radio show The Big Lunch on Konnect Radio : Catch Up

    Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of Eloise Head on Twitter

  • Faith: David Suchet narrates audio bibles to comfort those with sight loss

    Faith: David Suchet narrates audio bibles to comfort those with sight loss

    At the end of 2021, Torch took a leap of faith and ordered 1,000 Pathway audio Bible players containing the New Testament and Psalms read by the well known British actor, David Suchet. Knowing the power of Scripture to change lives, they planned to give these Bibles for free to anyone in the UK losing their sight. 16 months later, all of these Bible players have been sent out and the stories coming back are so amazing that Torch has ordered 1,000 more.

    Gayle-Ann said: “It is my friend … with me wherever, it is just so convenient and I have read the New Testament many times but the way this is read brings across the characters it is just easily understood”. Kenneth came across Torch by chance at a Sight Village open day, he wasn’t sure when he first heard about the Pathway as he wouldn’t have called himself a Christian and hasn’t enjoyed audio books in the past but he told us “I like listening to the Pathway … I’m really listening to the New Testament now … not just odd verses … I’m realising what it all means.”

    For many people, losing their sight is confusing and life altering with one of the biggest losses being the ability to read. For those who have regularly read the Bible, this can feel like being cut off from their greatest source of encouragement, strength and comfort. Imagine the joy of so many in receiving a simple to use Pathway audio Bible when they can once again connect with Scripture?

    Losing sight can be a time of real questioning and searching, so what better gift can they receive than the Word of God? Torch is encouraging anyone who knows someone who is living with sight loss, to get them to contact Torch and receive a free audio Bible at www.torchtrust.org/pathway or by calling 01858 438260.

    Most of the first 1,000 players were sponsored by individuals, churches or trusts. Torch is also seeking people to donate £20 to cover the cost of sending out one of the new audio Bibles.

    Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of David Suchet on Twitter

  • Faith: 80 year-old-pilgrim walks 1,333 miles to help Leprosy Mission

    Faith: 80 year-old-pilgrim walks 1,333 miles to help Leprosy Mission

    Rev John Merrill will walk from Canterbury to Rome in 80 days, arriving at the Vatican on his 80th birthday. John has walked a total of 228,500 miles on walking trails, almost the distance from earth to the moon, and worn out 151 pairs of boots! He keeps all his old boots in his garden shed in Hertfordshire as he says they feel like old friends. John has written 520 books about his expeditions. These range from walking the coastline of Britain, 7,000 miles, to the Pacific Crest Trail from the US/Mexican border to the Canadian border, 3,000 miles.

    His latest challenge will see him leave Canterbury Cathedral June 1st where he will receive a pilgrims’ blessing. He is scheduled to arrive at the Vatican on August 19th; his 80th birthday. He has no rest days scheduled on the 1,333-mile route through France, Switzerland and Italy. Averaging 16.66 miles a day, he hopes to raise as much money as he can to help people affected by leprosy.

    Rev Merrill, a multi-faith minister, heard how leprosy was still a problem in the world today at a Carol service at St Giles in the Fields Church in London. He heard Peter Waddup, Chief Executive of The Leprosy Mission, talk about Dr Paul Brand who was a medical missionary to India where he witnessed firsthand the prejudice surrounding leprosy. While treating a patient for the disease, Dr Brand put his hand on the patient to reassure him. He was concerned when the patient began to sob. A translator for the patient told him: “You touched him and no one has done that for years. They are tears of joy.”

    John, deeply moved by this story, was inspired to raise money to help people affected by leprosy. This could mean giving the gift of reconstructive surgery, pioneered by Dr Brand, to restore movement to hands and feet frozen by leprosy. Or providing bespoke prosthetic limbs to those who have had limbs amputated because of injury caused by the disease. John said: “It would be lovely to think by doing this challenge for my 80th birthday, I could give someone else a second chance of life on their feet again.

    “I have been extremely fortunate that I have never broken a bone or been hospitalised during my expeditions. I have some amazing adventures and have been up close to rattlesnakes and bears but have always remained safe. I have been very blessed really as I usually walk alone. That way you never forget what you have seen because you’ve been chatting! I have gone 14 days without seeing another human being.” John says that walking is a way of life for him and his pilgrimages have deepened his faith. He was adopted as a baby during the Second World War and said he was an exasperating child at school.

    “I used to come bottom in everything and the only thing I loved was sport and running up and down Bell Hagg Rocks in Sheffield where I grew up. I loved the sense of freedom and exploring made a great impression on me.”

    After being expelled from several schools, Rev Merrill’s father sent him to a Quaker boarding school in North Yorkshire. “I loved it there as you were allowed to explore anywhere, you just had to be back by 6pm. When I was 15, however, I was caught climbing up a three-storey building at the school. I was called to the headmaster’s office and thought I was going to be expelled. But amazingly, he sent me on an outward bound mountain course in the Lake District for a month! From then on I walked and climbed whenever I could. After I left school, I worked for my father’s company as a commercial director but it never suited me. I spent my holidays walking and climbing.

    “One time I was climbing in the Isle of Arran and it felt like I was being prompted by God. I felt He was telling me that I was not doing what I should be doing. Then a short time later I camped outside Iona Abbey on the Isle of Iona in the Hebrides and saw there was a service there at 6pm. I somehow felt called to go the service. But when I got there I was thinking ‘what am I doing here?’ Anyway, the minister began his sermon and said ‘God gives you the chance to do what you should be doing. If you don’t take it, he will give it to you again’. It was the prompt I needed to leave work and start my new life of hiking, climbing and writing books.

    “I drove back to Derbyshire and gave in my notice. I have been doing this ‘new life’ ever since! As I failed my English O-Level twice, they were quite surprised at my old school by the number of books I had published! Even though I’m approaching 80, age is but a number, and now I just intend to keep going and walk the Pennine Way when I turn 100!“

    Rev Merrill has raised more than £1.5 million for good causes from his own walking expeditions. More than £1 million has also be raised by other walkers completing his challenge walks. To sponsor his 80th birthday Canterbury to Rome pilgrimage visit: https://tinyurl.com/80daywalkforleprosy

    Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of Rev John Merrill

  • The importance of kindness

    f you’ll forgive me, I’d like to boast a little. Recently I was at university chatting to one of my fellow ‘mature’ students. She’s a mum and we were talking about parenting. We’ve known each other for about 18 months. She told me she thought I was kind. I nearly fell off my chair with shock and pride. Kindness is something I’ve been working on for a long time.

    My darling wife Kate, to whom I’ve been married for nearly 37 years, has spent most of those years telling me that all she wants is for me to be kind to her. Having very nearly divorced fairly early on in our marriage, we’ve clearly done something differently to get this far. Kate said she agreed with my friend. I am kind.

    It’s not that I was unkind before. The opposite of kindness is thoughtlessness, not cruelty. Being kind is about putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes and seeing things from their point of view. It’s about being interested and thoughtful and not imposing yourself.

    After our second child was born, Kate and I did the classic thing of drifting apart. Kate focused on being a mum. I took a back seat and focused on work and money. We stopped being friends and became functional parents, not really thinking about one another. I thought about work and the children much more than about her. I wasn’t kind.

    A few years ago, Kate and I were writing a book – What Mums Want (and Dads Need to Know) – about how our marriage had come back from the brink. We wanted to know how common our experience was, so we ran a survey of 300 mums. We asked them to rate the importance of various different roles and characteristics in their husband or partner.

    Being a friend, being kind, and being involved were comfortably the top priorities. Fixing stuff and earning money, though not unimportant, were at the bottom of the list.

    Kindness is everything. It shows thought, consideration, care. It shows you notice and you value. Being kind is an active decision that requires some sort of action. It only takes little things: a cup of tea, being aware, taking time. But those little things reveal the character behind them.

    When somebody is kind, it’s hugely attractive. No wonder mums rate this as the number one quality they want from their other half. If we men could grasp that what mums want most is friendship, interest and kindness, we’d have a lot less heartache and family breakdown.

    I only wish I’d known this all those years ago when I married Kate. We would have had a far smoother ride. Still, better late than never.

  • Beyond the Banter: Putting down deep roots

    Beyond the Banter: Putting down deep roots

    Gardening experts advise that when planting a young tree a stake should be fixed at an angle which points in the direction of the prevailing wind. They also advise that the stake should be removed after a couple of years to allow the tree to develop deeper roots as it bends in the wind. Apparently part of the design of the tree is to bend and flex under pressure, because that action is what produces deeper and stronger roots. The roots grow deeper on the side facing the direction the wind is coming from.

    I was out walking recently and came across an uprooted tree in woodland not far from where I live. This was a huge, mature tree, surrounded by many other trees, and it had been around for a long time, maybe since the woodland was planted in the early 1900’s. The woodland and adjacent parkland was a gesture from the landowners to the people of the local mining and industrial community to provide some respite from the dust and grime of the coal mining industry which was so prevalent in this part of the north west.

    Despite its huge size and weight, and it not being identified as a tree at risk or attacked by disease, it had been blown over and lay like a spent matchstick. The ‘root plate’, as they call it, was very thin. The roots went sideways more than downwards. Perhaps the roots were shallow because the tree was surrounded by other trees so it hadn’t had to withstand the full force of the wind. In recent storms many big trees were blown over because the wind came from a different direction to the norm, making it easier to dislodge any shallow roots.

    I came across another angle on this recently when I spotted a tree clinging for all it’s worth to a cliff edge (see main photo). The ground below half of it had been washed away by coastal erosion, exposing the root system. It was a smaller tree standing on it’s own, but had developed deeper roots. For now, it was standing firm.

    I’m sure you can see some parallels here with our spiritual lives. No matter how strong we may look on the outside, if our roots don’t go deep we can be vulnerable to being blown over in the storms and strong winds of life.

    Trees are fairly resilient on the whole and will bend in the wind. You may have heard trees creaking sometimes. We too may creak and sway a bit in the storms but still stay standing. We are designed to withstand a certain amount of pressure, but if we are constantly battered and have only shallow roots, there may come a time when we fall over when something comes at us from a direction we weren’t expecting.

    We can seem strong when surrounded and protected by others. But we may need to leave the security and relative shelter provided by others and feel the full force of the prevailing wind. Our resilience and faith will grow stronger under pressure.

    The picture of a small tree suffering from coastal erosion suggested to me that there are no guarantees in life. Even if we have put down strong roots there are some things we have no control over. Here are a couple of snippets of ancient wisdom to consider:

    You can’t find firm footing in a swamp, but life rooted in God stands firm. Proverbs 12:3 (New Living Translation)

    Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Jeremiah 17:7-8 (New Living Translation)

    Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of Bob Fraser

  • Real men do cry

    The ‘strong, silent type’ is often seen as the epitome of manliness. Resilience is good, but trying to battle a mental health issue alone is not. Dr Ken shares some options for help.

    Mental health problems are one of the commonest reasons patients speak to me as a GP. For too long mental health was a taboo subject for men. Fortunately, this is changing and, although women still present more often than men, it is becoming much commoner for men with mental health concerns to seek help. The days of ‘real men don’t cry’ should be consigned to history!

    Every week, one in six adults have symptoms of a common mental health problem – and one in five have considered taking their own life at some point. Half of all adults believe they have had a mental health problem at some stage in their life. Suicide is significantly commoner in men than ladies.

    The commonest problems include generalised anxiety, depression, phobia, and panic disorder. Bipolar disorder (where your mood swings from very low to very high and overactive) affects 1-2% of the population. 

    SEE YOUR GP

    Please speak to your GP if you are struggling with your mental health. We can assess and usually make a diagnosis, offer advice, refer for talking therapies, signpost to support services, or prescribe medication. If required, we can refer to local mental health services for more specialist help.

     In addition I encourage my patients to look at the NHS five steps to mental wellbeing, to help themselves:

    ■ Connect with other people: for example, family or friends.

    ■ Be physically active – there is good evidence for the mental health benefits of exercise.

    ■ Learn new skills – for example cooking, DIY or a new hobby.

    ■ Give to others – your time, your support, and your interest.

    ■ Practise mindfulness.

    TALKING THERAPIES

    Talking therapies are psychological treatments for mental and emotional problems. They all involve working with a trained therapist in various ways – one-to-one, in a group, online, over the phone, with your family or with your partner. They include:

    ■ Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – to help you explore and change how you think about your life and free yourself from unhelpful patterns of behaviour.

    ■ Guided self-help – you work through a CBT-based workbook or computer course with the support of a therapist.

    ■ Counselling – you talk in confidence to a counsellor who helps you find ways to deal with difficulties in your life.

    ■ Behavioural activation – to help give you motivation to make small, positive changes in your life.

    ■ Interpersonal therapy – this helps you identify and address problems in your relationships with family, partners and friends.

    ■ Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) – if you have post-traumatic stress disorder this helps the brain reprocess traumatic memories of the traumatic event so you can let go of them.

    ■ Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy – helps you focus on your thoughts and feelings as they happen moment by moment.

    Talking therapies require significant effort, but are very effective.  

    DON’T BOTTLE IT UP

    Men are getting better at seeking help for mental health problems. There is help available from lots of places. Real men do cry – and it is OK to say “I’m not OK”. Ask for help.

    All images: Getty

  • Beyond the Banter: Myths and Legends

    Beyond the Banter: Myths and Legends

    A friend invited me to go with him to see one of the Hobbit films. Lots of us men love myths, legends, and stories of adventure. Especially epic stories of adventure, where there’s a struggle going on between good and evil, darkness and light. They hold a strange fascination for many of us.

    We duly met at the cinema only to find that the schedule had been changed and it was not on that afternoon. It wasn’t on anywhere else that afternoon. His Plan B suggestion was to go ten-pin bowling. Now I’ve only played occasionally since school days and probably the last time I went was ten years previously. So I was a little rusty to say the least. However, amongst the many rounds where I didn’t get a strike at all, I had one when I got four strikes in a row! I knew three in a row and you were a turkey, but never before had I heard of anyone getting four. I’d never even had three. So I was unprepared for the declaration that came up on the screen that I was a four-bagger. To me at least it was a story of epic proportions, albeit a short one. Me – a four-bagger!

    All of this made me think about whether there is some sort of epic struggle going on in our lives and whether we have a battle on our hands against an unseen enemy who is determined to sideline us and cause us to lose heart. Is the story of our individual lives set within a much bigger epic story, which is still unfolding? Many of us have some consciousness of good and evil. We’re well aware of the many cruel things that happen to innocent people, and of the need for justice and truth. Many of us can see that some things seem more associated with darkness than light. Yet we all have a strange fascination with the darkness, and can easily get drawn into it if we are not careful. Hidden dangers lurk there. We go through a door out of curiosity and before you know it the door slams behind us and there’s no handle on the inside. We have no alternative but to go further and risk getting totally lost in unfamiliar surroundings. We may never find our way back.

    For the Christian believer, the good news is that we don’t have to go it alone. We can draw on God’s help when the darkness seems more attractive than the light; when hiding in a dark cave seems better than facing the light of reality; when dwelling on our failures seems easier than getting up again and moving forward. We can draw on the courage and strength He provides to reduce the frequency with which we lose heart and feel like giving up. We can listen to His affirmation and encouragement, and replace our lethargy and isolation with a greater desire to be part of an epic story where good triumphs over evil, where love wins in the end.

    Main Photo Credit: Artem Sapegin via Unsplash

  • Opinion: The danger of artificial intelligence (AI)

    Opinion: The danger of artificial intelligence (AI)

    Digital Editor’s Note: I’m delighted to welcome Peter Wright as a Guest Writer for Sorted Magazine. Peter spent most of his life in Africa before moving to Canada in 2004. He has worked for large and small corporations, started and owned several businesses and was a farmer. He’s also a published author, writer, speaker, marketer and co-founder of the popular podcast The Yakking Show. Peter doesn’t shy away from difficult topics or points of view and describes himself as a “contrarian”!

    Peter writes: In 2023 Artificial Intelligence (AI) is one of the most discussed topics in marketing circles. Most of the discussion is about whether AI will replace people who create content for a living. Copy and text content creators are the most concerned. Advances in graphic, audio and video content creation by AI will threaten more creators.

    Whilst sad and traumatic for those directly affected, technology-driven job obsolescence is not new. Since the Industrial Revolution, advances in technology have caused workers to lose jobs and learn new skills. The early 20th century saw thousands of textile mill workers, wagon drivers, blacksmiths, and farm workers displaced by machines. The second half of the century decimated the number of employed elevator operators, typists, secretaries and fax machine technicians.

    It has continued in the 21st century with ATMs replacing bank tellers. Online shopping and self-serve checkouts destroying huge numbers of jobs in the retail sector.

    It’s not a new phenomenon. Some argue that Artificial Intelligence and machine learning will have a more devastating effect than all the other waves of technological advances combined. That may or may not be. Whether it will be a catastrophic tsunami or a damaging high tide remains to be seen.

    As a contrarian thinker, I believe the danger of developments in AI is not in the number of jobs it may or may eliminate. It is more serious than that.

    Machines have no conscience, no understanding of ethics. Humans learn the sense of what is right or wrong, ethical or not, moral or immoral over many years from birth to maturity. Without that sense of right and wrong, the ability to create content by an app or program that relies on machine learning opens up the possibility of changing the course of history.

    The invention of the printing press allowed the dissemination of thoughts, ideas and opinions to a wide audience. A far larger group of people than could be spoken to in village squares or town halls. Steam engines permitted the printing and distribution of much greater numbers of newspapers than could be done by hand-cranked printing presses and horse-drawn carts.

    Telegraph, radio, telephone, cinema, television and the Internet all increased the size of the audience that could be reached instantly. In the early and mid 1900s, all had gatekeepers with some level of neutrality. Editors in media, the influence of the church, censorship (a double-edged sword), strong family values, social customs and conventions.

    The neutrality of the gatekeepers started fading away in the late 1900s. By the early 2000s it had shifted to a liberal bias. In my opinion this bias was exploited by governments of all political hues to engineer support for unnecessary wars and criminal actions against citizens.

    Can Artificial Intelligence Development Be Paused?

    Major players, including Elon Musk and Steve Wozniak, have expressed concern and called for a six-month pause in AI development according to this report from CBS News.

    A pause sounds like a good idea. I believe it’s unlikely to happen because of the profit motive and the race to have the best AI system along with the difficulty in defining the scope of AI development. A government led attempt to ban the use of or slow down the development of AI will probably fail. What does and does not fall under the AI umbrella is difficult to define. One could argue that autospell and spellcheck tools are a form of AI because they rely on machine learning.

    AI has too many beneficial uses for society to reject it completely. Attempts to ban or slow down the implementation of the products of previous waves of innovation failed. The Luddites did not burn all the Lancashire cotton mills, men walking with red flags in front of motor vehicles soon became unemployed. Consider the rapid adoption of disposable diapers (nappies) despite the environmental cost of huge increases in garbage going to landfills. These are all examples of convenience trumping concerns about the possibility of harmful and unintended consequences.

    Artificial Intelligence will not go away and I think it’s unlikely that its development will slow down. It has great potential for good, but it has a huge potential for harm. It could introduce an unprecedented level of adversity for most of mankind.

    It’s up to every one of us to be alert and discerning when consuming content ourselves and educating our children to do the same. We need to resist the subtle attempts at brainwashing, and controlling our thoughts. Resist attempts to convince us to accept restrictions on what we can do, see, read, and use in the name of convenience.

    A longer version of this article was first published in Peter’s newsletter.

    Main Photo Credit: Markus Winkler via Unsplash

  • Beyond the Banter: Nothing to hide; nothing to fear; nothing to prove

    Beyond the Banter: Nothing to hide; nothing to fear; nothing to prove

    The idea of becoming men who have nothing to hide, nothing to fear and nothing to prove is a theme developed by Morgan Snyder, one of the Senior Leaders of John Eldredge’s Wild at Heart organisation, in his online podcast ‘Become Good Soil’. (Home – Become Good Soil) As I’ve thought about those three phrases, I find I can identify with each of them to some degree.

    I’m sure many of us have done or thought about things that we’d rather not admit to, and we’ve kept it hidden from others. It’s understandable. We want others to think well of us; we want to preserve our reputation or perhaps we’re just not ready or willing to admit to some failure in the past. It feels safer to hide it or bury it and try to move on.

    Nelson Mandela believed that everyone should be treated the same, whatever the colour of their skin. That belief resulted in him spending 27 years in prison, but he went from being a prisoner to a President and became an inspiration to people all over the world. He said: “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not the man who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers fear.”

    Fear can manifest itself in many ways, but many men won’t admit to being afraid in a dangerous situation as it may look like they are weak. However, fear sometimes has a way of galvanising courage within us when in a tight spot or when lost or when facing overwhelming circumstances. So fear can be a good thing. It’s a natural survival response and it can get us out of danger or keep us out of trouble. Bear Grylls said that being brave is having fear but finding a way through it.

    But fear can also immobilise us to the point where we are unable to figure out what to do in a difficult situation. What may come to the surface are times when we got wounded or treated badly, so we are understandably reluctant to make ourselves vulnerable and put ourselves in that kind of situation again.

    It’s often fairly obvious to us when someone seems to have something to prove. There is something they are striving to live up to, some image they are trying to maintain, some impression they are trying to give. But it’s a false front and underneath there is a different person who is insecure and perhaps wounded by past events. Richard Rohr, an American Franciscan priest and writer on spirituality based in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and a very popular writer and speaker on spirituality said, “There is nothing to prove and nothing to protect. I am who I am and it’s enough”.

    Wanting to be a man who has nothing to hide, nothing to fear and nothing to prove gives me a route map for leaving the past behind, whether that be stuff I’ve done, or stuff that happened to me, and I can head into the future more secure in who I am becoming. I like that idea of becoming. It reminds me that, whatever age I am, I am unfinished; I am still work in progress.

    Main Photo Credit: Eddie Kopp via Unsplash

  • Blazing saddles: gearing up to beat cancer

    Cancer sucks – and the statistics are shocking: an almost 50-50 chance of being a victim.

    According to the most recent research reported in the British Journal of Cancer, over half of us under the age of 65 will be diagnosed with cancer at some point in our lives. If you manage to dodge this bullet, there is a significant chance that you will know someone who has cancer, and that some of those you know will die from the disease.

    I meet both the former and latter criteria, witnessing both my wife and mother-in-law succumb to this truly callous illness. Yet, even in the face of these daunting numbers, there are grounds for positivity, since cancer survival rates in the UK have doubled over the last four decades, and around half of patients diagnosed survive for more than ten years. When the ‘Big C’ has its backside kicked, it’s time to celebrate – and what better way than a butt-busting ride from Land’s End to John O’Groats?

    Ian Cooke, aged 55, was initially diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia in February 2021, bang in the middle of preparations for his third Ironman challenge. Given a high probability of death in the medium term, he embarked on a torturous timetable of chemotherapy, along with other invasive procedures, and latterly a stem cell transplant. The most recent update is, in true Ian Dury and the Blockheads prose, Reasons to Be Cheerful, Part 3, with the incredible news that this Ian is in complete remission. 

    Meeting him on the beach at Morfa Nefyn, North Wales – part way through a gruelling practice session – I asked him what his advice would be for other cancer sufferers. “Everyone’s mind races away with ‘what ifs’, but my advice is simple: only you can beat cancer, it’s yours and you own it – and you can beat It!”

    With an infectious smile he added, “Think what you will do – not what you won’t – and try to maintain simple daily routines throughout. I always said I would get out of bed every day in hospital, strip my sheets to help the nurses, and do my stretches. I missed only one day. I talked to my family and friends about the reality of the side effects and how you manage your way by being prepared, so they understood it’s all part of the journey we face in beating cancer.”

    Ian Cooke & Paul Sharples

    I guess that many of us will have seen and simply scrolled past JustGiving pages, but Rix Oakleys fundraiser for Cure Leukaemia is different. Dial it in for the trek up North on 31st May, when the gang of cancer-crushing cyclists begin to rip up the mammoth 966 miles over nine consecutive days, and stick two fingers up at this dreadful disease; together, let’s edge ever closer to a cure. 

    © Ian Kirke 2023