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  • Prom Praise presents Chariots of Fire celebration

    A century ago, Olympic sprinter and Christian missionary Eric Liddell refused to compete in his favoured 100 metre race because it was held on a Sunday. Instead, he competed in the 400 metres … and won. Liddell’s story and the convictions that motivated him formed the foundations for the 1981 film Chariots of Fire.

    As the Olympics return to Paris this summer and to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Eric Liddell’s historic race, All Souls Music are delighted to confirm guest artists for Prom Praise: Chariots of Fire, broadcast live from the Royal Albert Hall on Saturday 4 May 2024.

    The concert will draw inspiration from Liddell’s tale of integrity, presenting an evening of musical sportsmanship that champions perseverance, character and hope.

    Artists include YolanDa Brown OBE, Martin Smith (pictured above), Ellie Limebear and Natasha Da Costa. Livestream host and Channel 5 News anchor Dan Walker (main photo above) will take to the stage with former Strictly Come Dancing partner, Nadiya Bychkova, performing a sensational new dance to Vangelis’ iconic Chariots of Fire main theme.

    Graham Daniels, General Director of Christians in Sport and a Director of Cambridge United Football Club, will offer a brief pause for thought and Eltham College Choir and musicians will be performing, honouring the school which formed such a crucial role in Liddell’s early life.

    Ellie Limebear (pictured above)

    The concert will also feature the World Premiere of a new orchestration of ‘How Great Thou Art’, celebrating the 75th anniversary of this well-known hymn, as well as featuring performances from Searchlight Theatre Company, bringing Liddell’s story to life.

    Sponsored by Christians in Sport and supported by Wycliffe Bible Translators and the Stuart Hine Trust, Prom Praise: Chariots of Fire promises to be a whirlwind of musical energy, celebrating an Olympic year and worthy of a giant of sport and faith.

    Natasha Da Costa (pictured above)

    Famous worldwide for a unique voice in music, the All Souls Orchestra has a longstanding residency at the Royal Albert Hall hosting an annual promenade concert, Prom Praise, which fuses a special partnership of classical and contemporary musicians for an evening of world-class music.

    PROGRAMME INCLUDES:

    Miklós Rózsa March of the Charioteers from Ben-Hur

    Vangelis Chariots of Fire Main Theme

    Rom Goodwin The Trap Main Theme

    Sibelius Finlandia

    FEATURING:

    All Souls Orchestra

    Prom Praise Massed Choir

    Conductor: Michael Andrews

    Special guests: Martin Smith, Ellie Limebear, YolanDa Brown OBE, Eltham College Choir and more

    Speaker: Graham Daniels

    Livestream host: Dan Walker

    The live event will be taking place at the Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, London, SW7 2AP on Saturday 4 May at 7.30pm. Tickets are available from the Royal Albert Hall Box Office.

    The Livestream will begin at 7.15pm at allsoulsmusic.org<http://allsoulsmusic.org>

    All Photos: Courtesy of Prom Praise

  • Review: Notes on Feminism – Being a Woman in a Church Led by Men

    Confession: I’m picky. And for good or ill I only review books which are of personal interest to me. Those which have actually caught my eye and caused me to ask myself: “What’s that all about?”. One of my motives for reading Journalist, Lauren Windle’s latest book, Notes on Feminism – Being a Woman in a Church Led by Men from SPCK Publishing, was to gain a better understanding of this old fashioned word “feminism”. How has it evolved? How is it currently understood? And that burning question, which I’m often asked, and have asked myself, but have thus far hesitated to answer: “Am I a feminist?” Would Windle’s book help me to figure this out?

    Notes on Feminism is, in some respects, a fresh evaluation of the current state of play. A sort of stock-take of where we’re up to now, particularly in relation to church matters. It’s a smooth read, moves along at a pleasant pace, is clearly written and thoroughly researched. Windle explores differing view points regarding feminism within the church. Much of the book is a balanced piece of journalism, offering different points of view, at other times it is much more informal, like a conversation you might have on social media. I found myself nodding, laughing and occasionally rolling my eyes in agreement/disagreement/solidarity/outrage. Notes on Feminism is seasoned with shocking facts, mind-opening quotes and searing honesty. At times I really did gasp.

    Windle includes a succinct run down on the history of feminism. This served as a very helpful reminder. Just like author Lauren, I’m a female journalist, who’s five foot three inches tall, with a fondness for tea and Eccles cake. But the similarities end there. She’s middle class and I’m working class. She’s a southerner and I’m a northerner. She’s young and I’m not quite so young. I can well remember the days before feminism had achieved all that it currently has. This makes me exceptionally grateful for just how far women’s rights have come. Possibly I’m too grateful, too resigned, too accepting, and maybe just a little bit tired. Windle clearly has plenty of fight left in her! In the flow of her considerable enthusiasm, at times her journalistic impartiality veers off into opinion, beliefs and personal preferences. For example it would seem that she doesn’t want men to dictate what women can and can’t say, only to bleat about the detail of what men can and can’t say.

    To the author’s credit she makes the case both for and against feminism. She has gathered and included the voices of women with completely opposing views on feminism. For example a fascinating chapter by Delphine Chui has been included. Journalist, Chui, shares with considerable honesty and openness exactly why she isn’t a feminist. There are notes from writer and model Katie Piper on true beauty, Olympian Abigail Irozuruon women’s bodies, comedian Cassandra Maria on why people think women aren’t funny and author Tiffany Bluhm on why people don’t believe women.

    At times the author appears to be working out her own issues in real time on the page. She explores how she herself feels about certain issues such as weddings and marriage. In this respect the first word in the book’s title “notes” is an accurate reflection of its content. Lauren Windle is a curious, chatty and likeable author with a friendly contemporary writing style. Her “likeability” makes for a pleasant, undemanding reading pace. The occasional “meatier” section is open minded, rather than authoritarian. She takes the reader by the hand and essentially asks them: “Have you ever thought about this?” She nails her colours to the mast on several issues. That said her approach is refreshing in that she is clear that these views aren’t fixed forever. That she is open to discussion. She is accepting and respectful of others views and willing to change her mind in the light of new information.

    Overall Notes on Feminism is rigorously analytical and strives towards fairness and accuracy. Yes, sometimes there is an angry undertone, and the author openly admits she is angry about some things. For me, this book was at times a challenging read, but also educational. It has helped me to answer some of my own questions about where I stand on feminism and it’s definitely worth persevering to the end. I particularly enjoyed this statement from author Lauren Windle: “And finally, don’t blindly make my opinions, or the opinions of anyone referenced in this book, your opinions. Take each of these topics and pray about them, read Scripture and a range of commentaries, and consult your church leaders. This isn’t a reference book for your new position on contentious topics; it’s the start of the conversation.”

    Notes on Feminism – Being a Woman in a Church Led by Men is available from SPCK Publishing

    Main Photo Credit: Siora Photography via Unsplash

  • Faith: Living in a world that’s lost its reason

    I was talking to a friend about the challenges that we Christians face today when he said: “We are swimming against the current; the world has lost its reason.” The phrase struck me and I’ve been pondering it.

    The first phrase, swimming against the current, is a truth that we Christian’s face opposition from our culture that opposes our faith, convictions and values. In Britain the ‘cultural current’ has been flowing strongly against the Christian faith for over a century. There is much in the Bible about how God’s people must resist the force imposed by the world about them. We are to be different: we must always go against the flow, stand firm and ‘march to the beat of a different drum’.

    On considering the second thought, the world has lost its reason, I realised that there are now new complexities in swimming against the current. While we might once have imagined that we were engaged in swimming up some slow, steady flowing river, a more realistic image today is that we are in some windswept tidal estuary in which the waters swirl chaotically. Today, the forces pressing upon us are strong in one direction, tomorrow they are going in another direction. The world has changed, and with it the currents we face.

    Here I think we need to understand the culture that we face in the West today. What we call Western ‘culture’ did not arise in a vacuum but was formed by the Christian faith over 2,000 years. At its heart was a belief in Jesus and his revelation in the Bible. With this came a morality, a worldview, in which such things as truth, charity, justice, humility and marriage were valued, as was the worth of every individual, however poor or frail. Christianity gave the West values, principles and standards. Life had a rule book.

    Around 250 years ago philosophers began undermining the fundamentals of the faith, and soon culture; art, music, literature and, increasingly, beliefs in general, followed them. The values of Christianity are strong and enduring but, as the tree of faith was left to wither, so, inevitably, its fruit failed. Most of those who sought the eradication of Christianity believed that, with its influence removed, the world now liberated from God would enjoy a new freedom. Of course, it proved otherwise. The loss of Christianity at the core of our culture has left a confused, troubled vacuum in which all sorts of ideas and movements, some secular and some spiritual, compete aggressively for influence.

    In fact the Western world has indeed ‘lost its reason’ in two senses. It has lost its rationale, its reason for existence; it is now ignorant not only of what’s right and wrong but even of what it stands for. Yet it has also ‘lost its reason’ because it has become an intellectual chaos in which nothing is certain except uncertainty. The mood today is one of confusion and confrontation; whether in politics, social thinking or philosophy there is now no quiet middle ground of consensus but only noisy extremes and bitter disagreement. Are we in favour of consumption or conservation, integration or individualism, liberalisation or legislation, wealth or welfare? The result is that Christians today no longer face a single oncoming hostile army but are instead caught up in a cultural civil war with crossfire coming from every direction. We face not just a current but many currents, ever changing and coming from many different directions.

    So how are we Christians to respond to this world in which we find ourselves buffeted by a range of unpredictable and powerful currents? Let me offer you four thoughts.

    We must live in reality. We need to think realistically about the world and our faith. With regard to the world, we cannot be naïve. The changes that we see are so deep and wide that outside some remarkable intervention by God in revival (oh, I pray it may be so!), they are not going to be easily and quickly reversed. Instead we must discern which of the many currents affecting us are the most dangerous. After all, it may be that our most serious threat comes not from that current giving the noisy, visible waves but instead from some quieter flow moving at depth. Yet it is not all gloom. As God’s people found in the past, our opposition is divided and battling against itself. We must too balance any awareness of threats with a confident faith in the One in whom we trust; the Lord Jesus Christ. This world, and indeed time itself, is in our heavenly Father’s hands. We can have faith that the Great Shepherd will not desert his sheep, especially when, in the darkness, the wolves are howling.

    We must pursue strategy. In these volatile times there’s a lot of fear about, and not just among Christians. Allies today can easily be opponents tomorrow. From a Christian point of view, there’s a lot to be said for that popular phrase, ‘Don’t panic.’ Fear is not only bad but it also fuels unwise decisions. We must respond to the world we face in a way that is both spiritual and strategic. If we must fight, let it be the right battle at the right time. There are some issues where we have no option but to stand our ground: it is the ‘right hill to die on’. Yet there are other issues that we might decide are negotiable or even unimportant.

    We must hold on to integrity. Perhaps the real threat of our times is not that Christians become overcome by the world but that, during combat, they become like the world. That sobering comment of our Lord: “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Matthew 16:26 NIV) applies not just to individuals, but to the church. To win a battle over the world in a worldly, underhand way, is to be defeated.

    Finally, we need to use the opportunity. Here, I speak as an evangelist. Christians under pressure can retreat into sanctified circles that gaze inwards, and close the doors against the outside world. We cannot do this! As Christians, and as churches, we either witness or we decline. But let me encourage you; one feature of our present troubled world is that it is full of discontented people. Across the political and social spectrum, there are many who, often amid tears, have found their dreams for a better world broken. A growing number are, like the prodigal son in the ‘far country’, wondering whether it might not be time to return to the home and the Father that they rejected.

    As believers in Christ we now find ourselves struggling against shifting currents, varying winds and changing tides. Yet above all, we must remember that our Lord is the master of the stormiest of waters and we can trust him, in his time, to bring us safe to port. We remember too his words in John 16:33 (NIV): “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Amen!

    Main Photo Credit: Ivan Vranic via Unsplash

  • Brits binge-watch The Chosen on big tellies

    Three friends, two vicars and a musician have encouraged me to watch the historical drama, The Chosen. What’s the buzz about? Why is The Chosen one of the most-watched shows in the world? Why is it consistently a top-performer across streaming platforms Amazon Prime, Peacock and Netflix and a top-rated broadcast weekly on The CW? Why have episodes drawn 770 million views? How has it grown from a crowdfunded project into one of the most popular series in the world? And why does The Chosen have over twelve million followers across social platforms?

    Over the course of its first three seasons, the series garnered praise from critics and fans alike for its historical and biblical accuracy, playful spirit, stirring drama, genuine humour, and disruptive impact. And I understand that ambitious plans are afoot to translate The Chosen into over 600 languages which could potentially make it the most translated series in the world. I needed to find out what everyone was talking about and, after a faltering start, began watching Season One in earnest. A trusted friend had confided that she had found it to be a slow burn to start with, that I should “stick with it”, that the pace would “pick up” and it would be “well worth the wait”.

    My friend was correct on all counts. Against everything I’d learned on screenwriting courses, with The Chosen Season One, there was no cutting to the chase. Because The Chosen is an ongoing series, rather than a one-off movie, the writers have had an abundance of screen time to work with. They have used this extra time to develop and build the storyline and unpack the backstories of some of the characters involved. In that respect, and in many other respects, The Chosen is unlike any other dramatization about Jesus’ life I have ever seen.

    I confess to experiencing feelings of impatience and frustration just waiting for the story to unfold, waiting for familiar historical events to “kick off”. During this adjustment of sitting patiently and slowing down to the pace of the story I realised that perhaps I was feeling, in a very small way, something of what the Israelites must have felt waiting and waiting and waiting for their promised Messiah to arrive. Waiting was what they knew well. And by the end of Season One’s third episode I began to feel a connection to them which I had never previously experienced. I began to relate to them a little better, to understand a little more of the slower times into which Jesus was born.

    After watching a few episodes of Season One I settled comfortably into the familiar rhythm of play. And so, it seemed to me, had the cast. The actors themselves seemed more at home. Easier in their own skins, easier about working together, easier with the dusty ancient world they were inhabiting. I observed my own mild irritation at what seemed like petty squabbles and one-up-man ship along with a growing realisation that these ancient people were probably no different to the rest of us. Sometimes they’d get caught up in the pushing and shoving between families, communities and colleagues which is common to everyone across the panorama of human existence.

    Why is The Chosen series off the scale in its creative risk taking? Why has the producer, director and writer, Dallas Jenkins (pictured above) boldly gone where no man has gone before? His vision to create a detailed and lengthy dramatization of the gospel accounts holds the potential to upend the understanding of the millions of people who feel they already know them well. People who hold them dear. Sacred even. Jenkins and his creative team have certainly shaken up something which is familiar, but many viewers seem to find this refreshing!

    I may have to accept that while watching The Chosen I’m seeing an imagined Middle Eastern world through the lens of contemporary western culture and mindsets. Nevertheless I believe that the writers and producers have done their homework and have succeeded in creating rich, relatable human story lines which form the framework for each episode. Issues I had never previously considered have presented themselves to me. Unresolved questions have been, at least partially, resolved. Especially in relation to the recording of the gospel accounts. As something of a frantic scribbler myself it’s been interesting and reassuring to witness Matthew (Paras Patel, pictured above) dutifully scribbling away like a court reporter, recording events and statements as they unfold in real time. Watching The Chosen has been like seeing a complex tapestry appear stitch, by surprising stitch, until eventually I was able to make out something familiar.

    Season Two shifts up a gear as the narrative gathers momentum and the disciples interact with Jesus more and more. And it has to be said, the acting is simply superb. Some scenes were performed with such intensity they gave me the shivers. The actor, Jonathan Roumie (pictured above; far right) consistently portrays a magnetic and masterful Jesus. Disclosure: As someone who aims to follow Jesus, from his first moment on screen, I felt I sort of knew him before I knew him, and yet wanted to know him all over again. Here was a Jesus I could recognise and relate to. What a joy to see Jesus dancing, running and splashing. To see his kindness towards his Mother Mary (pictured next to Jesus above).

    Season Three races along and delivers yet more surprises. I’ve been particularly intrigued by the Roman officer, Gaius, believably played by the seasoned actor Kirk Woller (pictured above left). Gaius, a powerful man, is essentially “the enemy” but Woller somehow injects him with a rare combination of don’t-mess-with-me strength, curiosity and softness. Sorted Magazine’s Andy Godfrey recently interviewed Kirk Woller and, as Digital Editor, I had the privilege of eavesdropping on their zoom conversation. He came across as a sensitive and compassionate man and perhaps these characteristics are somehow shining through on the screen.

    Gaius is not recorded by name in any of the gospel accounts. He’s a compilation of characters. Perhaps this is why I find him to be the most unpredictable, the most mysterious and possibly the most conflicted of all the characters on screen. At any moment Gaius might draw his sword or fall on his knees. I’m fearing and cheering him. He is the wild card we never knew about. He’s the outlier watching from the wings. The stakes are high for him, he has much to lose. Gaius actually reminds me of some people I know and I’m eagerly standing by for the release of Season Four, hoping I will discover more of what Gaius is really about.

    To find out more please visit:

    Season 1 | The Chosen

    Season 2 | The Chosen

    Season 3 | The Chosen

    All Photo Credits: Courtesy of The Chosen

  • Bikes, camera, action: Speedway Grand Prix 2024

    The 2024 Speedway World Championship hits the shale later this month, with series one of an 11-round tournament being held at Donji Kraljevec in Croatia on 27th April.

    Fifteen racers, led by current Polish world champion Bartosz Zmarzlik, will contest the Grand Prix series that will again be hosted at several major European cities, including Cardiff on Saturday 17th August.

    Although the action will be accessible across major TV networks – including Eurosport and Discovery+ – there is only one place to properly sample the electric atmosphere: trackside.

    Catching up with the three British contenders – multi-winning world champion Tai Woffinden from the Sheffield Tigers, blistering Belle Vue Ace, Dan Bewley, and ruthless Robert Lambert, I was keen to understand how they all prepare for the greatest show on earth.

    Tai Woffinden and Dan Bewley

    Talent-wise the Grand Prix field is pretty balanced. How important is mental attitude, and how do you prepare for the GP, as opposed to an ordinary league meeting? 

    Dan kept things as normal as possible: “We ride against the same people in the Ekstraliga in Poland and the Premiership in the UK.” Although he did concede that it is a lot tougher. Robert reflected a similar perspective, but acknowledged that unlike a league match, the focus is entirely and utterly on one person – himself.

    Tai – displaying the wisdom of many a Grand Prix campaign – provided a more detailed analysis of his pathway to success: “At this level, it’s all about having the full package – physically, mentally, and mechanically.” Rolled up within these key ingredients are mechanics, the carefully choreographed continental logistics, and not so secret elements of sleep and a nice hotel. He added, with his trademark reflective insight, “There is a much bigger picture than just rocking up to a league meeting. When all those pieces of the puzzle are in place – with a bit of luck – you are not far off.” 

    Robert Lambert

    Are you superstitious? If so, what routine do you follow and why?

    Tai and Dan didn’t disclose any unusual routines; however, Robert reflected upon his personal practice and admitted that he may have become a tad superstitious over the years by engaging with the same ‘left-hand side routine’ with gloves and boots following the regimented regime. Furthermore, he insists on listening to music with Team GB colleague Tai providing the vibes!

    Eager to follow up on this disclosure, I asked Woofy to elaborate: “I’m presently working on a Techno-Vibe collaboration with an Italian artist.” An upcoming track will be available later in May, followed by hosting a post-Grand Prix event in Warsaw, Poland, entitled “Explosion”, that will draw an audience of three thousand music lovers; fingers crossed, he will be wowing the UK public too in Cardiff after the British Grand Prix. The talented entertainer and entrepreneur revealed that this engagement is an important part of his alter ego outside the world of speedway, and helps significantly in maintaining a healthy work-life balance, since after a Grand Prix round he is so adrenalized that he can’t sleep until the wee small hours of the morning. Is there no end to his talents? The only way to adequately answer this question is to cheer him, Robert, and Dan on as they race across Europe.

    Full Grand Prix calendar:

    Round 1 – Croatia, 27th April
    Round 2 – Wroclaw, Poland, 11th May
    Round 3 – Germany, 18th May
    Round 4 – Czech Republic, 1st June
    Round 5 – Sweden, 15th June
    Round 6 – Gorzow, Poland, 29th June
    Round 7 – Cardiff, UK, 17th August
    Round 8 – Wroclaw, Poland, 31st August
    Round 9 – Latvia, 7th September
    Round 10 – Denmark, 14th September
    Round 11 – Torun, Poland, 28th September

    Title photograph reproduced by kind permission of Taylor Lanning.
    © Ian Kirke 2024 & uncredited photographs. 

  • Community: Teachers and family inspire good deeds

    Research commissioned by Tesco, as part of its Stronger Starts Golden Grants initiative suggests that Brits will carry out 265 good deeds a year. Popular acts of kindness include holding doors, checking in with someone or boosting their confidence, and donating items to food banks. Earlier this year customers in one hundred Tesco stores nationwide were given the opportunity to do their own good deed by awarding a local school or children’s group a £5,000 Stronger Starts Golden Grant.

    According to the Tesco research among the most common acts of kindness are holding the door open for someone (67%), checking in with someone to ensure they’re well (54%), trying to boost someone’s confidence (35%), picking up litter (23%) and donating items to a food bank (12%). The study indicates that inspirational people have played a significant role in motivating acts of kindness. 7% of respondents said they had been inspired by a teacher and 27% had been influenced by a family member. It would appear that both families and wider communities play a significant part in fostering a culture of kindness.

    Psychologist and broadcaster, Emma Kenny said: “Science tells us doing good deeds can have psychological benefits, strengthen social bonds, and there is even evidence to suggest it can improve physical health, potentially lowering blood pressure. So it’s great to see so many claiming to regularly be dishing out acts of kindness, not only is it likely to be helping someone else, it’s also likely to be helping them.”

    The research also showed that people hoping to fall on the receiving end of a good deed should not expect to get lucky during the morning commute or school run, with just 3% of the country saying they’re prone to doing good deeds before 9am. The research revealed that more than a third of the nation (37%) say they tend to do good deeds at a particular time of day, with 12.48pm the average time they’re likely to happen. This particular finding informed Tesco’s decision to arrange their Stronger Starts Golden Grants celebrations (which took place in 100 Tesco stores nationwide in March) from 12-1pm when customers were more likely to participate in an act of kindness. Tesco Stronger Starts is committed to supporting more than 5,000 schools and children’s groups with £5 million in funding every year. This funding aims to provide nutritious food and resources to keep children physically active throughout the school day.

    Main Photo Credit: Max Fischer via Pexels

  • Film: “Reaching a new generation”

    The Academy Awards are fresh on the minds of filmmakers and film-lovers alike. The ceremony is considered the pinnacle of recognition by those in and outside the film industry. However, a production house in Florida, which includes those who have worked on Oscar-winning films, have their attention fixed on what they consider the most important film they have ever worked on. The team, whose portfolios includeThe Lion King, Mulan, The Princess and The Frog, Big Hero 6, Spies in Disguise and more, is bringing the story of Jesus to life through animation.

    Ray Aguerrevere, Producer, Jesus said: “It is an honour to be working on this project. The realisation that this film will eventually be translated into over 2,000 languages and be distributed globally with the help of 1,800 ministry partners makes this by far the most important film I will ever work on. When production for Jesus started, it started humbly. As the excitement and support builds around the film, from a quality and visual standpoint, the parameters for what is possible continue to expand. We’ve had many artists leave their key positions in major studios and ask to join our production team. Some of the crew working on the film have told us that they have been longing to be a part of a film like this. 

    “Part of the beauty of it all is that ultimately this will be much more than a film. We’re creating digital assets that can stand alone and be redeployed for virtual reality, augmented reality, the metaverse, and in ways we haven’t even begun to consider today. We’re intentional in the way we build these assets to enable them to be as pliable and moldable for new technologies, and technologies not yet developed. 

    “With the film, we strive to be forerunners in driving the use of exciting technology. We’re utilizing a real-time pipeline which enables us to eliminate traditional rendering steps and see progress almost immediately. The Jesus film is being re-imagined from live action to animation. What better medium to transcend generations. Animation is timeless!”

    The Jesus Film Project®, a Cru® ministry, is releasing a feature-length animated film, Jesus, in partnership with production studio Premise Entertainment. This animated film stands on the shoulders of a 40-year legacy. The Jesus Film Project® released the live-action Jesus  film in 1979 which went on to be the most translated film in history. Now comes a re-imagining which is aimed at reaching a new generation with the latest technology. To find out more visit jesus.film.

    Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of The Jesus Film Project.

  • The passion paradigm

    Love and hate are powerful feelings. They occupy opposite sides of the coin of emotion; however, I would contend that the latter term is more emotionally charged. Love can occupy a lengthy continuum from mild to meteoric, whilst hate has a narrower band. I’ve used the word ‘love’ to cover all manner of things, from my feelings towards ice cream, to the handful of people I have genuinely fallen in love with.

    I accept that I have used the other term to articulate my loathing of, for example, certain foodstuffs, but in the final personal analysis I would cite a persuasive fact: since 1960 71% of popular songs have been about romance, whilst 57% have used the word ‘love in the lyrics. With such statistical scores, it makes sense to conclude that the two emotions should never occupy the same space. Like matter and anti-matter. Night and day. Hot and cold.

    Yet, recently I acknowledged, for the first time in my life, that I both loved and hated someone at the same time. The who is unimportant, but the feeling of complete emotional disorientation caused by this juxtaposition needed repair, since – for a time at least ─ I felt on the precipice of a frightening and inexplicable dark void. 

    There is a mass of evidence within the field of relationship psychology that supports, rather predictably, that relationships – especially with significant others – are complex, with both positive and negative feelings existing in distinct phases. Singer-songwriter superstar Adele’s prose provides ample contemporary evidence that the human heart and mind will regularly process love, heartbreak, and loss, usually at separate times. But these assumptions didn’t accurately reflect my  dilemma in experiencing these strong and conflicting emotions simultaneously.

    This affected my daytime thinking and at night my mind refused to take a break. However much I tried to make sense of this emotional enigma, my thinking became locked in a repetitive cycle, reminiscent of the famous scene from the movie WarGames where a computer gets locked into an infinite game of noughts and crosses against itself. Am I unique? And did the problem really rest wholly with the other person? I needed answers. 

    Somewhat surprisingly, and also reassuringly, according to ground-breaking research published in 2014, my thought patterns weren’t as absurd as I’d first imagined. Rather uniquely, Vivian Zayas and Yuichi Shoda introduced their study with reference to the following quote: 

    “Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.” Sigmund Freud quoted by Anna Freud (1939)

    A curious way to commence a piece of academic investigation; yet this proposition held true following two imaginative physiological experiments, which concluded that relationships that are both intense and important to one’s own wellbeing can automatically facilitate the “coactivation” of positive and negative feelings. In other words, I wasn’t going crazy. 

    Having satisfied myself that the significant other in this emotional equation is crucial to my positive mental health, I grasped another important concept: they probably feel the same way about me at times, so we are more similar than perhaps either of us think.

    The next part of this journey is to mutually accept that, although the current situation is far from ideal, the mere fact that these flammable feelings exist is testimony to the fact that our relationship is vitally important to both of us. The mending process will only occur when we talk and heed the wise words of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: “Love and hatred are not blind, but are blinded by the fire they bear within themselves.”  

    Dr Amie M. Gordon, a social-personality psychologist  from the University of California, San Francisco, provides a useful template of engagement that I have summarised as follows:

    1. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Empathy is crucial. Note to self – keep my thoughts to myself and ask questions instead. 
    2. Avoid the four horsemen of the apocalypse — criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
    3. Give them the benefit of the doubt in the belief that they are not being spiteful. Take some deep breaths!
    4. Focus on their positive traits. They have many. 
    5. Remember – we are on the same team, not opponents.
    6. Appreciate that this process isn’t going to be easy. Often the really important things in life aren’t. 
    7. If anger makes an entrance, positive self-talk is crucial. Don’t take your eye off the goal. 

    Wish me luck! 

  • Faith: The bagpipes and the banjo

    Live music has always held a fascination for me and this morning I was intrigued by the deep bass sound of a euphonium. I went to investigate. Three cars were parked outside our house and the occupants were already out and warming up hands and instruments. Standing next to the euphonium player was a man with a banjo, and a few yards away a man arranging his bagpipes. I have always held the greatest of admiration for bagpipe players, not because of the sound they make, but because of their skill in getting all the various bits of the instrument in the right place. It’s up there with people who can set up a deck chair at the first attempt. I was keen to hear how such an unusual combination of different instruments would blend together.

    It was a bitterly cold morning; one when the weather forgot it should be spring. Within a few minutes there were cars arriving and parking in every spare bit of road and verge available. Some were more considerate than others. Clearly something was going on in the neighbourhood. Then it clicked. A neighbour had told me only a few weeks ago that a local business man who lived nearby had died. All these people had turned out to say farewell to him.

    A low loader lorry which was normally seen with a crumpled car on it’s back was decked with neatly arranged floral tributes from grieving relatives. Suddenly from around the corner came the sound of music. The bag piper, in full Scottish national dress, played a haunting tune. It wasn’t the best day to be wearing a kilt. The coffin was loaded onto a glass encased carriage pulled by six horses. Each horse looked immaculately groomed and was decked in full regalia of almost royal significance, with red plumes, white socks and shiny black coats. The hearse slowly moved into the main road led by an undertaker on foot. He was more adequately dressed than the piper given the weather. A floral tribute inside the carriage read Goodbye Grandad.

    Local traffic, which had already been severely impeded by the presence of cars parked everywhere, ground to a complete halt to enable the funeral cortège to move off. Immediately behind the hearse a band, comprising euphonium, clarinet, banjo and trumpet, played a trad jazz version of Just a closer walk with thee. It was a such contrast to the earlier drone of the bag pipes. I wondered what the connection was for these minstrels, and that song, with the man now lying in a coffin not more than ten feet in front of them. The low loader followed, and then relatives in the more familiar stretch limo funeral cars. And gradually the cars which had been parked slipped quietly into the procession as it made its way to the funeral ceremony at the local church.

    Death always puts things in perspective. It always draws out reflection on your own life, even though the focus is supposed to be on someone else.

    Tomorrow is Good Friday. A time when some remember when another man died. No stately funeral procession for him. No music, poignant or lively. But there was an air of bitter sweetness to these events too. In the hot dusty climate of Roman occupied Jerusalem, he had unjustly suffered a criminal’s death for challenging the ideas and behaviour of prominent people.

    A large crowd gathered around, including his mother and brothers. Men and women from all walks of life were there. He had had a profound effect on many, despite his short life. Some were so inspired by his teaching that they had left their jobs to follow him wherever he travelled. They had given three years of their lives listening to his wise teaching and believing his promises of freedom and justice for those held captive, witnessing blind people made able to see and the lame able to walk. But their dream was now shattered. They couldn’t believe it. This wasn’t how it was all supposed to end. They lurked on the perimeter of the crowd, hiding their faces, fearful of reprisals or further unjust trials, deeply aware that they might have made the biggest mistake of their lives.

    He had said things no one had dared to think before, he had made them feel important and valued, burning away years of tradition, oppression and confusion. It had all made so much more sense than all they had ever known. He had given so much hope in a hopeless world. The local power brokers were there too, smugly congratulating one another that they had rid their community of someone who challenged their control and hypocrisy, yet strangely jealous of his popularity and influence among ordinary people.

    At times like this, although we may be standing in a crowd, we each stand alone in silence with our own thoughts and reflections. The weirdest of memories and emotions can surface. Life is short; death always comes at an inappropriate time; always catches us on the wrong foot. We’re never fully prepared. But, in the aftermath there comes a time when a life is celebrated rather than a loss mourned. When joy replaces sadness; when hope replaces shattered dreams; when brokenness gets restored; when emptiness becomes fullness; when water is changed to wine.

    The bagpipes and the banjo, were a reminder that life can be both bitter and sweet. One day it will all make more sense.

    An extract from Beyond the Banter by Bob Fraser.

    Main Photo Credit: Brad Starkey via Unsplash

    Funeral procession photo: Used with permission from The Good Funeral Guide.

  • Archbishop of Canterbury: “Give volunteering a go!”

    The Archbishop of Canterbury is leading calls for Britain’s faithful to get involved with the Big Help Out this 7-9th June from an Interfaith Iftar at the Eritrean Muslim Community Association. Last year more than seven million people took part in the Big Help Out, Britain’s biggest volunteering opportunity, and this year it’s even longer, across a long weekend.

     The Archbishop will be making the call at volunteer-led preparations for an Iftar hosted by the Eritrean Muslim Community Association (EMCA) on Wandsworth Road, where he will have the opportunity, along with representatives of other faiths including Rabbi Charley Baginsky, Co-CEO of Progressive Judaism and Professor Jagbir Jhutti-Johal, Professor of Sikh Studies, University of Birmingham, to meet volunteers from across the EMCA’s work and hear about the impact that faith-based volunteering has on communities struggling with poverty.

    Faith organisations provide the backbone of British volunteering, the Church of England alone accounts for more than 23 million hours a month. In recent years churches have seen a 44% increase in demand for community services thanks to the cost of living crisis with one in four reporting a shortage of volunteers.

    The Archbishop of Canterbury said: “I am delighted to endorse the 2024 Big Help Out, a wonderful opportunity for us to get together and make a difference in our communities. Volunteering is not just for some people; it’s something we can all do. When we befriend an elderly neighbour, make a meal for someone who would otherwise be hungry, or pack up nappies and babygrows to help a new parent, we make a meaningful difference and are changed ourselves in the process. There are countless ways, both big and small, that we can give our time and talents, loving our neighbour as Jesus calls us to do. Millions of us embraced this spirit of service through the Big Help Out to mark the King’s Coronation. A year on, I urge everyone to give volunteering a go: paint a wall; meet someone new; tend to a community garden. Whatever you do, I hope and pray that you experience the joy of being part of something bigger than yourself, contributing to your community, and witnessing the transformational impact it can have in the world.”

    Adel Negash, General Manager of EMCA said: “Volunteering is giving back and appreciating God’s givings. The concept of religion is to spread goodness and to help others. In reality, volunteering is the most rewarding work ever because your reward is from God Almighty, and you will be rewarded in a way that you don’t understand: in your health, in your safety and your security, in the well-being of your family and the satisfaction that you get when you see another human being has been helped by you and you become part of something good.”

    Jewish Volunteering Network via Nicky Goldman, CEO said: “JVN is delighted to support the Big Help Out and encourage those charities in our network in the Jewish community and wider charity sector to participate. There are many ways to volunteer and we hope that people will be inspired to find their own.”

    Rabbi Charley Baginsky, Co-CEO of Progressive Judaism said: “Volunteering alongside our friends and neighbours of all faiths and backgrounds is a key Jewish value and needed now more than ever. It not only directly benefits those being supported, but also helps to strengthen relationships and friendships between our faiths. We encourage all our members and communities to take part in the Big Help Out 2024.”

    Brendan Cox said: “Faith organisations are the backbone of British volunteering, and the Big Help Out is a unique opportunity to connect the faithful with their wider communities. In recent years we’ve seen faith groups play an invaluable role in supporting families through the cost of living crisis, providing services like food banks, warm spaces, skill sharing and much more. Now, through the Big Help Out there are countless ways to get involved all over the country. So whatever you want to do, whether it’s the church foodbank, supporting care in the community through your local mosque or working with local children at your synagogue, the Big Help Out is your chance to start volunteering. It could be one of the best things you ever do.”

    Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of Jersey Road PR