Author: Val Fraser

  • How an unusual invite led me to Church

    By Tony Uddin – Pastor of Tower Hamlets Community Church

    I was raised on fairly rough council estate in South London. My dad was a Bangladeshi Muslim and for most of her life my mum didn’t really have a meaningful faith of any kind. Very occasionally my three brothers and I would go with dad to the mosque, but mainly my parents left us to work out our faith for ourselves.

    One day, an invitation was extended to my family through my brother. He was invited to a Crusaders boys’ bible study and years later at six or seven I started going along with him. That one unusual invite to a young boy with a Muslim parent to come to a Christian bible study led to him, and others in the family including me, coming to faith. This small invitation became a defining moment in my life and has subsequently shaped my ministry in Tower Hamlets.

    From that invitation, my brother and then the rest of us started going to more Crusaders events and then to yearly Crusader camps. These events were like holidays to us, it was the only time we’d go out of London at all in the year and we were never excluded if we didn’t have the money to go. While we would be told Bible stories, we would also play sports and visit other places. They gave us opportunities that we ordinarily wouldn’t have access to.

    It wasn’t until I was 10 that I made the personal choice to follow Jesus.  We had a lot of fun on these camps, but they didn’t hide the gospel or water it down. It was always clear and was communicated in a way we could understand, without jargon or vagueness. The events were a constant for me, I had been attending Crusaders weekly for years at that point, but the message, the invites and the influence never wavered. That year, a missionary from London City Mission called Bill Dean spoke, and that’s when the implications of the gospel fully clicked for me for the first time. Now, years later I pastor a church myself.

    Having the consistent support of a community after I responded to the gospel helped me grasp how it would shape my life. I saw what Christian service looked like, I witnessed Christian values first hand. The leaders were really important to my growth and were always reliable. Martin, my youth leader, was such a positive influence although he had such a different background from me. We came from different worlds; he was from a middle-class family and attended private school, yet he was committed to youth work in our community.

    Having these role models gave me a window into a new world and helped to change me. Notably with my education, I was able to see what was possible and be encouraged by my peers and leaders. It broadened my horizons and allowed me to have greater aspirations.

    There was this expectation from leaders that I would go on to lead. They saw a ‘calling’ in me and didn’t disregard or underestimate me because of my background. My ministry at Tower Hamlets Community Church (THCC) has been shaped by the impact an invitation had on my life. I never had to change who I was. I want to lead a church that is being shaped by and shaping the community in the East End where we are placed.  Too often, churches simply don’t do well at raising leaders from working class backgrounds. For us at THCC its really important that the kind of leaders that we raise are grounded in and shaped by our local community.

    It’s amazing to see churches across the UK want to be more invitational and welcoming. But we have to remember that for a true invitation to be meaningful to our communities, we cannot then exclude them from certain positions or opportunities because of our bias. The Church doesn’t always notice, but those being invited and then excluded definitely do. Our invitation doesn’t stop once they’re through the door or regularly attending. We need to ask ourselves: “if people from our communities come into our church, will they see people like them in visible, vocal at the front positions?” They need to be given an opportunity to lead, to step into their calling regardless of class, background, or race.

    When I was a teenager a church plant moved to our estate but although they were lovely people, they weren’t interested in truly engaging and learning from the local community. They wanted to grow a church and assumed that what had worked in leafy Surrey would work on our urban estate. There wasn’t really a sense that they came as learners, more as saviours. Sadly, the Church ended up very short lived.

    Our churches and leaders must look more like the communities we’re based in. That’s how we take the shape of our communities. Very often, it’s too easy to mistake a middle-class civility for Christian maturity and therefore anyone who lacks the middle-class upbringing is disqualified. To reach new people and reach into marginalised communities, we need to embrace the DNA of our communities.

    I’m so glad that those who invited me understood the importance of reaching families like mine; they didn’t always understand our culture or ‘get’ what our lives were like, but they did embrace us, include us, and ultimately trained and supported us to step into our calling. Most importantly, they didn’t dumb down the Gospel for us. Let’s lean into intentionally reaching the communities around us. A good challenge for us on a Sunday is to look around our church and rather than celebrate who is in the room, think about which parts of our community are not there? Let’s ask ourselves why they are not there and what can we do to change that?

    Find out more about Pastor Tony’s story and find out how London City Mission can support your church to be more inviting.

  • Motoring: The Hyundai Bayon has impressive fuel economy at 53.3 mpg

    If you want an SUV but are more used to small hatchbacks, then Hyundai has the solution with the Bayon.

    It is the smallest car the Korean manufacturer makes – a subcompact crossover which features some roof rails and a bit of rugged off-road cladding for good measure.

    That is about where the 4×4 treatment ends, though.

    The Bayon is not the prettiest car. Some may say it’s quite ugly, but it’s not dull either, with weird-shaped headlights offset to the side, a mean frowning grille, thinned-out indicators, and day running lights.

    The Hyundai isn’t especially powerful, either, with only one engine on offer: a 1.0-litre three-cylinder petrol with mild-hybrid tech. But two variants are offered, one producing 100PS and the other 120PS – and both come with a choice of a manual or automatic, depending on trim.

    Speaking of which, there’s a choice of three grades – and it’s the Premium trim with the entry-level 100PS engine reviewed here.

    Zero to 62mph is dealt with in 10.7 seconds, which is hardly astonishing but then perfectly adequate for such a small engine. The additional power in the 120PS version only shaves a third of a second off that time.

    The gear changes in the six-speed manual are smooth and encourage decent acceleration from the engine.

    The Bayon is lower to the ground than most crossovers, and you’ll likely not notice the difference compared with driving any small, regular hatchback, but this helps limit body roll in the bends. That doesn’t mean it handles well, though.

    While the Bayon’s compact size means it’s reasonably agile, it’s not much fun to drive, and the steering wheel doesn’t provide you with a lot of feedback. The wheel is light, though, making the Hyundai effortless to drive. Furthermore, the ride is comfortable at all speeds, while fuel economy is an impressive 53.3mpg.

    Inside, the cabin is okay, but it’s clear you’re driving something that’s the bottom rung of Hyundai’s ladder, with plush materials in short supply and harder, cheap plastics dominating. The infotainment system is also frustrating to use, as it isn’t responsive enough.

    The seats are reasonably comfortable, although if you’re tall, you might find it a tad cramped in your chair. But there’s plenty of headroom, and, thankfully, rear seat space is better than you might expect.

    The boot floor is adjustable, while the load capacity is measured at 411 litres, expanding to 1,205 litres if you fold the seats down in a 60/40 split. That is alright, but it’s still on the smaller side compared with some challengers.

    The Bayon earned a four-star safety rating from Euro NCAP. Kit includes a reversing camera, rear parking sensors, automatic emergency braking, lane-keeping assist, and a driver alertness monitor.

    You get a five-year, unlimited mileage warranty with Hyundai, which currently has one of the best reliability ratings in the industry.

    Overall, the Bayon has some likeable features, offering decent economy, a comfortable ride and spacious rear seats. But its bland interior and frustrating infotainment system let it down.

    Fast Facts – Hyundai Bayon [Premium 1.0 T-GDi 100PS 48-Volt Mild-Hybrid] as tested:

    Max speed: 113 mph

    0-62 mph: 10.7 secs

    Fuel economy: 53.3 mpg (WLTP)

    Engine layout: 1.0-litre three-cylinder petrol mild-hybrid

    Max. power (PS): 100

    CO2: 118 g/km

    Price: £23,080

    Main Photo Credit: Hyundai Bayon

  • From the archive: Successful and psychotic

    James Macintyre was a successful young man at the top of his game – until a breakdown unexpectedly hit him for six.

    A serious psychotic episode led to him being sectioned and subsequently spending three years in and out of hospital.

    A high-flier in the world of political journalism, James was a staffer on well-known titles like Prospect, New Statesman, and The Independent as well as the BBC’s flagship current affairs TV programme Question Time. Not so long ago, he also co-authored the biography of former Labour Party leader, Ed Miliband.

    A decade after the breakdown, James discusses it, and his eventual recovery, with his friend, Iain Dale, on LBC’s All Talk podcast. It is a fascinating insight into a very painful period – and one I wholeheartedly encourage you to listen to.

    In a very honest conversation, James and Iain try to piece together the dramatic events that led to James being hospitalised. What follows is the most honest conversation about mental health I’ve ever heard, and it’s given me a better understanding of how and why things can go so desperately wrong.

    In his role as a political journalist, James became entangled with right-wing bloggers.

    “It was a horrible period really, it got me down, and at that point, I was on anti-depressants, and also frankly, drinking too much alcohol at times and the combination was not a good one,” he says. “Things began to spiral, though there was a very specific moment where… the breakdown really happened. There is a division between how I was – a bit out of control beforehand – and then what happened, when there was a sort of serious psychotic breakdown.

    “I had had depression and mild anxiety in the past but slightly thrived on pressure… but at this point, I just stopped functioning. I can remember walking out of the office for the first time in my life [it was a sunny day in central London] and I was just weeping in the street. Obviously, I realised then I needed help.”

    It wasn’t long before James became suicidal, and that’s when he phoned Iain.

    “I vividly remember your response which was ‘If you ever have thoughts like this again day or night call me’, and that was hugely helpful and I’m eternally grateful for that,” he recalls. “Despite your help, and [that of] others, I declined, and eventually I stopped eating, then stopped sleeping and basically started hallucinating, and it turned into full-blown psychosis and I went wandering around London trying to escape what I thought were SWAT teams.”

    Thankfully, James has now recovered, with the help, support, and love of family members. And today, he now volunteers at the Iona Community, which is located on the remote Scottish island of the same name.

    “How has your faith helped you through this? How can you believe in a God that’s enabled you to go through what you’ve had to go through?” are key questions Iain asks in the podcast. The response is very enlightening.

    “I think it’s true that at times I felt, and I don’t use the word lightly, that I was in hell… but my faith has helped me,” responds James. “I’m deeply grateful to have retained that faith and actually nowadays I look back and think God has always looked after me and been with me

    “It could happen to anyone, I do want to stress there is hope and recovery. I do feel it’s right to speak out and I guess, witness to the fact that people can go through quite extreme breakdowns and psychosis, and come out of them; and it is great to be well.”

    To listen to the full podcast, please click here:

  • Motoring: The Lexus UX has a lot going for it

    Lexus has always been an understated marque.

    The UX continues that tradition in the subcompact crossover segment of the market, providing a classy alternative to the German premium brands.

    It features the signature goatee beard grille, mean front end and a chiselled rear that expresses some personality.

    The model is based on the same platform as Toyota’s Prius and C-HR. There is an all-electric version, but it’s the hybrid UX 250h I drove. It houses a 2.0-litre four-cylinder petrol unit with a small electric motor offering 184PS.

    The Lexus comes with a CVT gearbox, meaning there’s only one variable gear, and it’s available with front and all-wheel drive. The UX is a full hybrid, too (self-charging), which helps improve fuel economy, especially as you can drive a short distance without the engine.

    Several trims are offered, with the entry-level UX featuring 17-inch alloys, dual-zone climate control and electric windows, plus an eight-inch infotainment touchscreen with Apple CarPlay, Android Auto, and navigation.

    The F-Sport Design adds 18-inch alloys, while the F-Sport gets a 12.3-inch touchscreen, eight-way electrically adjustable front seats and adaptive suspension.

    The top-of-the-range Takumi boasts a glass sliding sunroof, a head-up display and a 13-speaker Mark Levinson premium surround sound system.

    An optional Premium Plus pack adds a heated steering wheel, rain-sensing wipers, keyless entry, and a wireless phone charger.

    It is the Takumi trim reviewed here.

    There is an all-wheel drive version, but the model tested is front-wheel drive, getting from 0-62mph in 8.5 seconds. That figure is nothing flash, but it does the job adequately and is enough to match its adversaries for pace.

    Many cars with CVT gearboxes sound shrill at higher revs. Lexus’ isn’t perfect, but it’s more refined than most I’ve used.

    Ride comfort is reasonably good, but it doesn’t absorb bumps and jolts as well as some rivals, such as the Range Rover Evoque. That said, the UX’s lower centre of gravity means it seems more planted. As a result, body lean in the bends is well-controlled, although there isn’t a tremendous amount of grip, so you find it’s prone to understeer on corner entry.

    Regenerative braking, which helps recharge the batteries, is also reasonably good, while the UX is noticeably less adept at reducing wind and tyre noise compared with some competitors.

    Inside, the driving position is pretty low, despite the UX’s SUV-leaning credentials as a crossover. However, the vehicle is pleasant to sit in, and there are plenty of plush surfaces.

    Space-wise, the UX is better suited to front-seat occupants. The back isn’t woeful, but there’s a lack of headroom and legroom if you’re on the tall side. In the boot, you get 438 litres of space, increasing to 1,231 litres with the rear seats folded down in a 60/40 split.

    The UX earned a top five-star safety rating from Euro NCAP. Kit consists of the Lexus Safety System+ featuring automatic emergency braking, dynamic radar cruise control, lane tracing, and road sign assist.

    You also benefit from a blind spot monitor with rear cross-traffic alert and auto brake on all but the entry-level model, where it’s available as an optional extra.

    Overall, the UX has a lot going for it, and the cherry on the cake is that Lexus’s reliability is excellent.

    Fast Facts – Lexus UX (Takumi trim) as tested:

    Max speed: 110 mph

    0-62 mph: 8.5 secs

    Fuel economy: 53.3 mpg (WLTP)

    Engine layout: 2.0-litre four-cylinder with electric motor and front-wheel drive

    Max. power (PS): 184

    CO2: 120 g/km

    Price: £46,750

    Main photo credit: Lexus UX

  • From the archive: Music eased my grief

    Former 80s pop star, the Reverend Richard Coles, published a book that lays bare the profound grief he felt at losing his ‘life partner’ – and reveals he found solace in music.

    The Madness Of Grief is a poignant account of Coles coping with the 2019 loss of his partner, Richard, and how he dealt with the trauma and pain of bereavement.

    He reveals he has an eclectic taste in music, revelling in the stirring synthesizer sounds of The Eurythmics while being awe-struck by hymns such as Thou Visitest The Earth and All My Hope On God Is Founded.

    And it is to these melodies, and more, he turned when he was at his lowest ebb.

    Although not a self-help book, the homilies, experience and catharsis within creates invaluable solace. It will resonate for the myriad struggling with grief wrought by the pandemic.

    Since relinquishing pop stardom for the vestry, Coles was vicar of St Mary The Virgin in the Northamptonshire parish of Finedon. He can also be heard on Radio Four every Saturday morning, where he co-hosts a popular weekend programme.

    His latest book follows Fathomless Riches and Bringing In The Sheaves – his best-selling memoirs.

    Richard Coles’ top 10 pieces of music…

    1. Cactus Tree by Joni Mitchell
    2. Love Is A Stranger by The Eurythmics
    3. Me And The Sky by Jenn Colella
    4. Drumming by Steve Reich
    5. Shackles (Praise You) by Mary mary
    6. Making Plans For Nigel by XTC
    7. Though Visitest The Earth by Maurice Greene
    8. Promised Land by Joe Smooth
    9. Libertango by Richard Galliano
    10. All My Hope On God Is Founded by Herbert Howells

    Main Photo Credit: Jace Afsoon via Unsplash

  • Comment: Crisis? What crisis? Men in Mid-life

    Editor’s Note: I’m delighted to welcome Tony Horsfall as a Guest Writer here at Sorted Magazine. Tony is an experienced writer, retreat leader and all round good egg! He has a vast experience of ministry overseas and in a local church in the north of England. He is the author of several really helpful books, Including Rhythms of Grace, Spiritual growth in a Time of Change, and Working from a place of rest.

    Tony writes: Mid-life is the transition from the first half of life to the second half. This transition normally occurs somewhere between the ages of 40 and 60, and may last anything from a few years to a decade.

    It does not have to be a crisis, but it can be; for most it is a gradual change but with periods of more intense challenge. Navigated well it can lead to the most satisfying and fruitful period of our lives when we come to maturity as a person.

    The passage into mid-life is characterised by some observable changes, the most common being physical, the greying of the hair and the failing of the eyesight, a more rotund appearance for some and a certain slowing down of pace on the sports field. There are inner changes too, perhaps a struggling to find meaning and purpose, and a wondering what life is all about. This psychological upheaval can be accompanied by emotional unsteadiness, a restlessness, and occasionally feelings of self-doubt or slight depression. At the same time there might be a seeking after a spiritual dimension to life, or for those who have had strong faith, a dip into doubt and a reviewing of belief. Often in this period we realise we are viewed differently by society, and are no longer ‘up and coming’ but part of the established order, which is disconcerting.

    Not everyone will experience all these changes, but it is likely that you will experience some, and enough to disturb your equilibrium. Mid-life can present us with some serious challenges.

    Identity – who am I without my role or the status given by my work? Am I to be defined by what I do, what I have, my performance or how others think of me? Who am I really when I stop pretending or living up to the expectations of others? This is a search for your true, authentic self, the person God made you to be in your uniqueness.

    Lifestyle – often, because of the busyness of life and the constant pressure under which we live, the longing arises that there must be a better way to live. We feel that we want to step off the treadmill and adjust our pace, review our values. This reflects a natural movement from living in the external world to a desire to live more from the internal world. At this point people often discover and nurture the inner life and become more reflective.

    Marriage – for those who are married the question arises, ‘Do I want to stay married or not?’ These thoughts often coincide with the celebration of a silver wedding, when children have grown up and the thought of living with the same person for another 25 years may seem daunting. The temptation to be unfaithful is very real. It can also be a time for marriage renewal, and the surprising discovery that marriage in later life can be even more satisfying than in the early years, but this requires perseverance.

    Faith – a surprising number of men come to faith during the turmoil of mid-life, realising that they can’t navigate life alone and that they need help from outside themselves. Failure in life and the realisation that we are not as successful as we expected to be, can make us open to divine assistance. Those who have been de-constructing an inherited faith may well re-discover God in deeper ways, learning to live with mystery and being content not to have all the answers.

    Future – an important question is: “What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Do I want to continue as I am, or is it time for a change? Do I have the courage to try something new?” Mid-life is a period when we can discover our vocation, that is what we were really made for, but this requires re-evaluation and the willingness to change, both exciting and daunting!

    What will help us navigate mid-life successfully? Certainly it is vital to be open and honest and to find a trusted person with whom to share your deepest feelings and fears. This is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. Find a mentor, or life coach or even a spiritual director to whom you can talk and be accountable. Talk to friends and others on a similar journey.

    Be assured that what is happening to you is quite normal. Mid-life is a life passage, a movement from one phase of life to another. While the journey is unique to each of us it is by no means unusual. Many have passed this was before. Some made bad choices and ended up shipwrecked, But others made good choices, and came to discover that the second half of life can be the most fulfilling period of all.

    Tony Horsfall (www.charistraining.co.uk)

    Spiritual Growth in a time of change (BRF, 2016)

  • Motoring: The Ford Fiesta is one of the best superminis

    Ford’s Fiesta is one of the best superminis, so all the more disappointing that Ford has recently announced it’s being discontinued.

    It has recently had an update with a revised front end, including a more prominent grille and repositioned badge, as part of its mid-life facelift.

    The ST-Line X trim is essentially the standard ST-Line grade with added spice.

    Eighteen-inch alloys are included, along with sports suspension, sports seats, a rear roof spoiler, a touchscreen with SatNav, automatic temperature control, a 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster, LED lights, electric door mirrors and a panoramic roof.

    It is the mid-range 1.0-litre 125PS engine under the spotlight here, which, thanks to its mild hybridity, comes with a bigger turbo. While it’s nothing to get excited about regarding performance, it makes steady progress off the line, masking its small size. It even sounds half-decent, too.

    The seven-speed automatic (fitted in the car supplied for the appraisal) is smooth. However, changing down can be a bit sluggish when you press hard on the accelerator.

    The handling is superb, thanks to a well-tuned chassis, which delivers agility in spades due to tonnes of grip in the corners and excellent steering.

    The Fiesta is great fun to drive – and, despite the sharp handling, it retains an excellent level of ride comfort, too.

    Inside, the cabin is nice enough but a bit plain and too dark for my liking. It lacks the sophistication of some of its rivals, but at least it’s comfortable.

    Headroom isn’t all that great in the Fiesta, but legroom in the front is plentiful for a small car. Those in the back will struggle if they’re above six feet, though.

    The infotainment screen is easy to use, but it’s not a class-leading system and lacks the responsiveness of rivals.

    You get 292 litres of boot space, more than some superminis but less than the Seat Ibiza. Cargo capacity expands to 1,093 litres with the back seats folded down.

    You’ll also get 50mpg out of it, with the hatchback producing 126g/km of CO2 in the process.

    Ford is a mixed bag for reliability nowadays, with the Fiesta not ranking particularly highly and only a bog-standard three-year, 60,000-mile warranty is offered.

    Nevertheless, it earned a five-star safety rating when tested back in 2017.

    Overall, I really like the Ford Fiesta. There is no supermini quite like it to drive.

    But if you want interior sophistication, equipment and practicality, alternative cars are worth considering.

    Fast Facts – Ford Fiesta (1.0 MHEV ST-Line X 7-speed auto) as tested:

    • Max speed: 124 mph
    • 0-62 mph: 9.6 secs
    • Fuel economy: 50.4 mpg
    • Engine layout: 1.0-litre three-cylinder turbo-petrol mHEV
    • Max. power (PS): 125PS
    • CO2: 126g/km
    • Price: £25,755

    Main photo credit: Ford Fiesta

  • Comment: How to be a remarkable best friend

    Friendship is a profound bond that enriches our lives with love, support and laughter. A best friend is like a soulmate, someone with whom we share a deep connection and understanding. In the hopes of celebrating friendship and real life connection, the team behind social media app www.thefr.app have explored five essential traits that make a best friend truly remarkable. From being a mirror image of ourselves to having an unwavering loyalty, these traits define the essence of a best friend and strengthen the bond that withstands the test of time.

    1. A two-of-a-kind bond
    One of the most remarkable aspects of a friendship is finding someone who feels like a reflection of ourselves. A best friend understands us on a level that seems almost uncanny. They share our values, passions and interests, making us feel understood and accepted. This similarity creates an unbreakable bond, enabling us to connect effortlessly, as if we are two halves of the same whole. With a best friend who is essentially our doppelganger, we feel a sense of belonging and companionship that is truly invaluable.

    2. Loyalty and no judgement
    Honesty and trust form the foundation of any solid friendship. A best friend is someone with whom we can be completely transparent, knowing that our deepest secrets and vulnerabilities will be kept safe. They offer a non-judgmental space for us to confide in, providing unwavering support and understanding. A best friend not only listens attentively but also offers guidance without passing judgement. Their loyalty is unwavering and we know that they will never betray our trust by sharing our secrets with others. This level of trust creates a safe haven where we can freely express ourselves, knowing that our words and feelings are held in the highest regard.

    3. A great sense of humour
    Laughter is a powerful elixir that binds people together. A best friend shares our sense of humour, allowing us to create endless moments of joy and hilarity. They understand our inside jokes and effortlessly contribute to the mirth. A simple glance or an inside reference is enough to ignite peals of laughter that fill the air. With a best friend who shares our humour, life becomes a continuous adventure filled with light-heartedness and laughter. They serve as a constant source of comic relief, turning even the gloomiest days into ones filled with laughter.

    4. Honesty, no matter what
    In a world where people often sugarcoat or avoid difficult truths, a best friend stands out by their unwavering honesty. They provide us with sincere feedback and advice, even when it might be uncomfortable to hear. A best friend’s honesty is rooted in their genuine concern for our wellbeing and personal growth. They prioritise our long-term happiness over momentary discomfort, never shying away from telling us what we need to hear. With their honesty, they help us become better versions of ourselves, offering insights and perspectives that we might have otherwise overlooked.

    5. Always having your back
    A true best friend is an unwavering pillar of support, whether we are physically present or not. They defend and protect our interests, advocating for us even in our absence. Their loyalty extends beyond the realms of convenience, demonstrating a genuine care for our wellbeing. A best friend is there to celebrate our successes and share our joys, but they also provide unwavering support during challenging times. They stand up for us when others criticise or doubt us, never hesitating to go to bat for our happiness and success. With their unwavering support, we gain the confidence to pursue our dreams and tackle any obstacle that comes our way.

    Anna Lee, Founder at Fr.App, explained: “The greatest traits a best friend can possess contribute to a bond that surpasses ordinary friendships. From sharing an inexplicable connection to providing a safe space for vulnerability, a best friend enriches our lives in countless ways. Their unwavering loyalty, honesty and support create a foundation of trust that allows us to grow and thrive. Finding someone who embodies these remarkable traits is truly a blessing, and nurturing such a friendship is essential for personal well-being and happiness. So, cherish your best friend and celebrate the unique qualities that make them an invaluable part of your life.”

    Main Photo Credit: Remi Turcotte via Unsplash

  • Beyond the Banter: A fragile peace

    How must it feel to have your homeland occupied by the enemy? To be dispossessed of your land? To have your home bombarded and reduced to a pile of rubble? How must it feel to lose relatives and friends? To lose possessions and dignity? To be surrounded by devastation, chaos and uncertainty? Not knowing where the next meal may come from or whether you even have a table to sit at? How would we cope with no electricity, no running water, living the life of a refugee in a climate of fear? What must it be like to be frightened by the callous actions of extremists? And equally fearful of your own emotions which may boil over in desperation demanding justice and revenge?

    For an ordinary bloke wanting to live a peaceful, meaningful life, earn a living, care for a family, bring security and protection to those you love, and maintain a grip on beliefs and values, a life in that kind of environment would be severely restricted. Even when a cease fire is declared, providing an opportunity to look after the wounded, it’s a fragile peace and experience suggests it will not last. Conflict will resume and there will be yet more suffering.

    Sometimes our hearts can feel like that enemy occupied land. Battle weary, battered and bruised after yet another enemy onslaught. Every now and then there is a temporary cease fire. A chance to regroup. New hope and encouragement to keep going. Yet, after only a brief respite, another bombardment comes, threatening to destroy much of what we had salvaged from previous wreckage. Enemies know how to target with precision any weakness in defences. Their aim is to destroy, immobilise, silence and distract. They know how to create disunity, cut off supplies, prey on the vulnerable, sever communication and create exhaustion.

    Options are limited in a situation where what’s happening is outside our control. We can remain victims, hunkering down until the next cease fire, longing for peace, yet existing and surviving rather than really living, but at least being close to roots and family and all that is familiar. Or, we can gather all those we love and anything we can salvage, and start out on a path that is unfamiliar, heading for a destination which is unknown, taking on a new adventure with hope of a better life. Whichever option is chosen, we’ll need to cling to the hope that even though life at the moment is not how we imagined it would be, the best is yet to come.

    Main photo credit: Jakob Owens via Unsplash

  • Opinion: Is it ever too late?

    Living (2022) stars Bill Nighy as Mr Williams, a stuffed-shirt who appears to be sleepwalking through his dull paper-shuffling life. Trapped within endless rounds of bureaucracy in a local government department, each day seems very much the same as the last. Until a terminal cancer diagnosis leaves him with just one year to live. This triggers a sequence of out-of-character events and the narrative suddenly shifts up a gear.

    Nighy is skeletal, scraggy, thin-lipped and softly spoken. He actually looks quite poorly. His character, Mr Williams, is reserved to the point of suffocating silence. Stilted questions, and answers, emerge very slowly, if at all. Emotional and physical pain are etched all over his face, it’s a little uncomfortable to watch. But this is nicely offset by a pleasant, rhythmic slowness to the film which seems to accurately reflect the dull, ploddy pace of Mr Williams’ day to day life. Following the diagnosis, and a short season of hedonism, Mr Williams seems to wake up from the municipal trance he’s in. He begins to focus on completing a task which actually matters and, perhaps more importantly for the philosophically minded among us, is within his power to achieve.

    Suddenly his life has meaning, purpose and direction. Or, more accurately, with his change of heart he has discovered a purpose which was right under his nose the whole time. It’s a modest purpose to be sure, but one which will benefit the local children. A small play area, to be built on a former bomb site, a stand against the overwhelming tide of departmental bureaucracy. Mr Williams works with considerable urgency and energetically draws his bewildered team members into the work at hand.

    Friendless, lonely and shy, the newly awakened Mr Williams also attempts to strike up the beginnings of a connection with two young colleagues. Miss Harris (Aimee Lou Wood) and Mr Wakeling (Alex Sharp). He relates to them both quite warmly, in a displaced fatherly kind of way. The whole story has been gently steeped into a sort of milky warm post-war 1950s sadness. Every reel oozes with the lingering unspoken regrets which must have drenched that era. For me, the biggest sadness was Mr Williams lack of connection with his biological son and daughter-in-law. And as if the viewer hasn’t already suffered enough, the clever film-makers round things off with a further topping of searing disconnection and acute sadness, by leaving these key family relationships painfully unresolved.

    But I must not, and will not, judge Mr Williams for this apparent fatherly failure. Because, the truth is until we’re faced with it, most of us really don’t know how we would respond to such a serious diagnosis. We simply don’t know how strong or how vulnerable we might feel, or how much head space we might have left to work with. We don’t know what our priorities might be and whether they would shapeshift when death looms large. Most of us don’t know these things because we can’t possibly know them. Because we haven’t had to face up to that reality, not directly, because in order to get on with the job of living a lot of us manage our own death as an abstract concept, something which happens to other people.

    In those long slow, impeccably shot scenes, in the painful pauses, in the divine piano pieces, we are invited not just to sit with Mr Williams, but to become Mr Williams. In essence Living is a work of art which invites us to sit and rest within the theatre of our own mortality for a while. We are invited to imagine that scenario, not to panic but to ponder, to ask and to consider, our own questions around how we could best use our allotted time. To review what we want to give ourselves to, and to whom we want to be given.

    In yet other scenes Living takes us gently by the hand and asks us to examine the dead and dying parts of our own hearts, the bits of us that we have given up on, it asks us to consider how we might wake up to the world around us and live better. The awareness of death and the numbering of our days, is carefully framed as a gift which holds the potential to switch on the lights. Living demonstrates how new possibilities may still emerge, though little time is left, through exercising the power of free will.

    Living is available to watch on Prime TV, we have a pretty big telly but in reality, even though there are no car chases, explosions or special effects, I actually wish I’d seen this movie at the cinema. That would have been a pleasant evening. The costumes, the scenery, the settings, the cinematography by Jamie D Ramsay, the whole 1950s vibe is really quite exquisite and fully deserving of the immersive big screen experience. Transported to another era by the rich musical score, which was so delish, I was almost tempted to close my eyes and forget the film. Living is an absorbing slow burn movie with a meaty universal theme now available to watch, if you have the courage, on Prime TV.