The team at social network www.thefr.app, who believe in helping to cultivate real friendships, recently undertook a study of almost 2,500 UK adults aged 18 and over to determine what friendship looks like in adulthood.
While the average UK adult is in a friendship group with five others, they only consider two of those to be their best friends. Best friends are typically those who they’re very similar to, can tell anything to without fear of being judged or exposed and who have a similar sense of humour. Almost all groups have cliques within though, so it’s not as though anyone is being left out. Two in three admit they’re more likely to confide in their bestie before their partner.
It was initially revealed that the average UK adult friendship group consists of six people, not including partners who are often drafted in for social gatherings. Of those however, adults confessed they would only consider two of those to be best friends, on average.
Asked what the key differences were with a best friend as opposed to a standard friend, respondents revealed the following five traits to be the most common and most important:
- We’re basically the same person – 71%
- I can tell them anything and they’ll never judge or tell others – 68%
- We have a similar sense of humour – 54%
- They’ll always tell me the truth – 53%
- They will always have my back, even when I’m not around – 52%
Only 12% stated their best friends are the people they’ve known the longest. When asked how long it took them to realise that a friend was indeed a best friend, the majority stated they ‘clicked right away’ (49%), while a further 22% realised when the friend was there for them through a tough time.
Additionally, when asked why more of those within their friendship circle weren’t considered best friends, the top reason cited was that the others weren’t trusted to quite the same level (46%), followed by simply not seeing them as often as they do their besties (28%). It was stated by almost all however (93%) that everyone within the friendship group was in smaller cliques within that group.
Finally, when asked who they were most likely to confide in and/or turn to, two thirds (67%) admitted that in most cases they were more likely to turn to their best friend than their partner in the first instance.
Anna Lee, Founder at Fr. App, commented on the findings: “It’s good to have a mix of friends with different hobbies and interests, but it’s our best friends who shape us the most; they’re those people we can turn to for everything, whether that’s to share the load, celebrate the successes or just chit chat about general day-to-day life. Many of us would go as far as considering our best friends our soul mates; they’re just as important to us as our partners.”
Main Photo Credit: Connor Olson via Unsplash
Author: Val Fraser
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Research: UK adults state they have just two best friends
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Beyond the Banter: The jigsaw puzzle of my life
Jigsaw puzzles were very popular when I was a youngster. That interest was re-kindled when my own children came along. Some adults still enjoy the therapeutic pastime and considerable challenge of completing a one thousand piece jigsaw puzzle. I’m not a jigsaw puzzle enthusiast, but I do know that there are a couple of things which should happen before any attempt to assemble all the pieces:
1. Carefully study the picture on the box so you know where you’re heading with it.
2. If possible, check that there are no pieces missing.
Sometimes life is like a jigsaw puzzle. We can’t see the picture which is emerging. It appears random and confusing. When I was 16, I’d only really just got going on assembling the jigsaw puzzle of my life when my dad died. It was like someone had kicked over the table which I was doing the jigsaw puzzle on, and all the pieces went everywhere. Not only that, it was like the box had been thrown away too. So I had no picture to follow, no clue how things fitted together, and no idea what to do with my life. I wasn’t doing well at school, I was beginning to go down a wrong road. It was a defining moment in my life.
Into that void, into that chaos, into that sense of abandonment, isolation and hopelessness came the gospel message, challenging me to give my life to God. The only way was to place all the pieces of my life before God and trust Him to complete the jigsaw puzzle. He filled in the missing pieces to bring wholeness, and gradually make the picture complete.
Psalm 18:20-24 (MSG) says: God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I’m alert to God’s ways; I don’t take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes.
Main Photo Credit: Ross Sneddon via Unsplash
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TV: Taskmaster’s Greg Davies lines up comedy contestants
As another victorious Taskmaster champion is crowned, a brand-new bunch of the nation’s best and brightest comic minds have been selected by the Taskmaster Greg Davies to compete in a series of his most tricksy tasks yet, while a watchful Little Alex Horne calmly observes and takes notes with admirable efficiency in the 16th series of the BAFTA winning and Emmy nominated global comedy juggernaut.
Simultaneously bringing their A-Game and bracing themselves for the most bizarre show on television are; comedian, performer, and author Julian Clary (Friday Night Live, Channel 4), comedy actor, writer and stand-up Lucy Beaumont (Meet The Richardsons, Dave), multi-award winning stand-up Sam Campbell (Bloods, Sky), presenter, writer and comedian Sue Perkins (Perfectly Legal, Netflix), and actor, writer and director Susan Wokoma (Cheaters, BBC One). All five are vying to win points, prizes, and eternal glory in hope of winning the coveted golden trophy along with bragging rights as the Taskmaster Series 16 Champion.
Elsewhere, it has recently been announced that BAFTA nominated comedian, writer, and actor Rose Matafeo, and critically-acclaimed writer and performer Mike Wozniak have been confirmed to host and star in Channel 4’s brand new children-focused entertainment show Junior Taskmaster, with Matafeo assuming the role of the mighty Junior Taskmaster and Wozniak as her loyal Assistant, the show has recently been commissioned following the continuing success of ratings and critical hit Taskmaster.
Taskmaster is produced by Avalon and Executive Producers for the series are Alex Horne, Richard Allen-Turner, Rob Aslett, James Taylor, Jon Thoday and Andy Devonshire who also acts as Series Director, while Andy Cartwright will also continue as Series Producer. Taskmaster is commissioned for Channel 4 by Tom Beck, Head of Live Events and Commissioning Editor, Entertainment, with Phil Harris, Head of Entertainment and Events. -
TV: Not Going Out returns for new series
Lee Mack’s multi-award-winning hit show, and longest running sitcom on air, returns for a new series on BBC One this June.
We return to the suburban chaos of Lee (Lee Mack) and Lucy (Sally Bretton) as they’re asked to cover for uptight ice-queen Anna (Abigail Cruttenden) as she allegedly attends ‘secret’ Italian lessons. Lee is immediately convinced Anna is up to no good and, having to lie to his best friend Toby (Hugh Dennis), is not-so-slowly spiralling into an anxious mess. As ever when there’s a delicate situation that needs sensitive handling, Lee could approach it cautiously … or go full sleuth in a bid to personally crack the case!
The series continues around the anarchy of a packed family life with the couple crashing from one near-disaster to the next (see episode synopses below). Usually close at hand are Lucy’s lovely mum Wendy (Deborah Grant) and curmudgeonly dad Geoffrey (Geoffrey Whitehead), and we know very well what they think about their daughter’s wisecracking husband.
Produced by Avalon, Not Going Out is directed by Nick Wood and produced by Jamie Rix. The Executive Producers are Richard Allen-Turner, Rob Aslett, Lee Mack and Jon Thoday. The Commissioning Editor for the BBC is Gregor Sharp.
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Film: Sir Cliff Richard says “don’t miss” Jesus Revolution movie
A British PR company run by Christians has bought the rights to the hit film Jesus Revolution. It is being released into UK and Irish cinemas from June 23rd and is highly anticipated. This film tells the story of revival in California in the 1970s and the key message is that church is for everyone. A spokesperson for Kova PR explained to Sorted Magazine: “We would love to see people far and wide hearing about the film’s powerful message and how the real story impacted our faith and worship music to this day.”
“The UK church (in all its denominations and expressions) needs to get behind this message. When released in America, Jesus Revolution doubled box office estimates. We need to show cinemas here that there is demand for faith films in mainstream cinema. Getting faith films into UK cinemas is an uphill battle. We need your prayers that God would open doors by His power and for His glory. There are loads of options, from showing the trailer in your churches, to attending a key leader screening, to ticket giveaways and discount bookings and sharing on your social media. We can help, get in touch!” The UK website jesusrevolutionmovie.co.uk will be taking group bookings very soon.
Sir Cliff Richard has thrilled his fans with a special facebook video announcement about Jesus Revolution. He said: “Don’t miss it!” Since posting there have been thousands of likes from his 300K strong Facebook following. Watch Sir Cliff’s video here
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Comment: Making memories at the Big Church Festival
Matt McChlery writes: On the recent Bank Holiday Monday, our car pulled up onto our driveway after completing a five hour journey from the depths of Wiston Estate buried deep in the Sussex countryside. I had just been to Big Church Festival with my two daughters, eight-year-old Katrina and six-year-old Lara. We had a fabulous time, although we were all in need of a good bath! Big Church Festival happens every Bank Holiday weekend over the May half term and sees 30,000 people coming together to celebrate all that is good.
The last time I went to Big Church Festival was ten years ago – before my children were born. People are encouraged to bring a group along, which I did ten years ago. Although this time I knew that bringing my two young daughters would require more planning and energy than a group would demand, and I was right.
Arriving on the Friday evening, with the help of my daughters, we managed to pitch our tent and blow up their camping mattresses so they could get to sleep just after sundown. This was a very late night for them, so I knew the next day would be interesting.
On Saturday, we set off at midday towards the Field of Fun and the Kids Tent. We caught a bit of the Superbook show and then had a go at the climbing wall, scaled the huge haystack, jumped on the numerous inflatables, and enjoyed the various fairground rides.
I was hoping to attend the Bethel Music session in the nearby Worship Tent. However, while we were having fun, a queue of a couple of thousand people had formed and by the time the girls had finished their various rides there seemed little point in joining the queue. Bethel Worship was due to headline on the Main Stage later that evening. With the girls to look after on my own, I accepted that I was going to miss out on all the excellent late night After Hours programme the festival offered.
We did manage to catch a Cheeky Pandas gig in the Kid’s Tent and Leeland’s set on the Main Stage before we headed back to the tent for an early night.
We did manage to listen to more music on the Sunday, including The Goudies, Matt Mayher, Tim & The Glory Boys and Israel Houghton. One of the highlights for the girls was hunting for wooden elephants that were hidden around the expo tent so they could win a packet of sweets. Oh yes, not to forget my daughter’s favourite artist, Philippa Hannah, whom we saw perform twice and they also got to meet after the second show. That was a definite highlight for them.
I knew that bringing my daughters along to a music festival would be hard work, and it was. But for me, the price I paid both financially and sacrificing the bands and things I really wanted to do for the sake of spending time with them, was worth it. I need to make happy memories with my children and I can’t wait to do it again!
Matt McChlery is a church leader, author and host of the Christian Book Blurb podcast. Find out more about him and his ministry at mattmcchlery.com
Main Photo Credit: Courtesy of Matt McChlery
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Comment: Keeping the art of conversation alive
NHS Property Services (NHSPS) has been focusing on keeping the art of conversation alive and well during National Conversation Week which took place from May 22nd until May 28th.
As the initiative’s name suggests, the aim is to encourage colleagues to talk with one another because, in a world increasingly shaped by technology, human conversation can sometimes take a back seat.
Suzanne Jones, Head of Learning and Development at NHSPS, explained: “These days, it’s easy to rely on social media rather than taking time out to speak to people for real. That is why NHS Property Services encourages colleagues to try and connect through talking. Conversation isn’t simply about chatting, though; it’s as much about listening. It is also about learning, understanding and sharing.”
She continued: “In the world of learning and development, conversation plays a crucial role. Discussions expand our horizons, help us obtain fresh insights, and build connections. Indeed, through discourse, knowledge and ideas are shared, and conversation is often the catalyst for personal motivation and inspiration.”
Suzanne added: “At NHS Property Services, we encourage respectful and empathetic conversation, whether it’s at one of our many National Health Service facilities, while in the office or when working from home, and in our daily lives.”
Here are three tips from NHSPS:
- Use telephone calls as much as you can. Not only are phone conversations better for productive communication, but you can sense the tone in the other person’s voice. Conversely, messaging hinges on the perception of the reader.
- Be specific – give enough information to ensure the other person takes in what you’re saying.
- Body language is essential! Make sure your body language demonstrates that you’re involved in the conversation. For instance, try to establish eye contact so the other person knows you’re interested.
For more information about NHS Property Services (NHSPS), visit https://www.property.nhs.uk/.
Main Photo Credit: Anna Vander via Unsplash
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Faith: Young Christians invited to Race Across Europe
Operation Mobilisation (OM) UK, one of the world’s largest missional organisations, are calling together young Christians looking to live out God’s love to join their Race Across Europe. The unique interrailing trip invites Christians over the age of 18, to travel across Europe and share their faith.
After years of travel being limited or challenged due to Brexit and the global pandemic, Race Across Europe will provide a new way for participants to build confidence in both conversational and practical gospel sharing overseas. Race Across Europe kicks off on June 26th with registrations due to close on June 11th.
The interrailing experience will last two months, with participants to return to the UK on August 18th. Race Across Europe team members will get involved in OM’s projects in major cities across 15 countries, engaging in new cultural contexts to support different communities and share the good news of Jesus. This will include integrating themselves into the Christian community, attending new churches, participating in outreach activities and working with refugees, children and sports ministries.
Lara Jenkins, Relations Manager, OM UK, said: “OM in the UK organised this initiative to give young people the opportunity to gain confidence and be bold in the mission field and think about how to share the gospel in different and new ways. Race Across Europe aims to help young people be encouraged by their interactions with a diverse collection of people and be enriched in their faith.”
“Upon their return in August, these younger generations will have had opportunities to grow and see God working in cultures and contexts they did not know or understand much about beforehand. So, this summer, we invite young Christians to travel, share your faith, experience how God is moving in different cultures and see God grow you.”
OM’s founder, the late George Verwer, said in a 2020 interview: “Behind the whole concept was my passion for revival and seeing lives changed. Not just new Christians, but believers, too: many were lukewarm. It was on my heart for young people to grow and become mature as a result of volunteering with OM, and that’s still taking place.” OM in the UK has the same heart for young people as their founder did, and they are eager to see them grow and mature through this Race Across Europe experience.
To sign up to take part in this trip before the deadline on June 11th please visit: uk.om.org/race-across-europe
Main Photo Credit: Michal Parzuchowski via Unsplash
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Faith: Tim Keller; a tribute
Tim Keller died on 19th May 2023. And, although assured by our Christian hope of the resurrection, it was saddening. At 72, Tim was still a significant preacher, writer and elder statesman in the Christian world. I have fond memory of being with him in New York and both of us passionately talking about reaching those outside of the church with the good news of Jesus.
I have been greatly helped by his penetrating and powerful books, such as The Reason for God and the Prodigal God.
Tim had many roles – pastor, theologian, writer – but perhaps the most important was that of evangelist. So here, as an evangelist, I want to comment on a few notable aspects of Tim’s remarkable life and ministry in proclaiming the gospel.
First, Tim’s preaching had confidence. Intellectually, Tim had deep theological roots: he knew what he was talking about. Although committed to a Reformed Christianity, he nevertheless had a sense of proportion and priority and never let secondary theological elements obscure or distract from the great focus of his preaching: Jesus Christ. Tim readily acknowledged that he had learned from British Christians such as C.S. Lewis, Martyn Lloyd-Jones and John Stott the importance of a ‘mere’ Christianity that never strayed far from the beating heart of the gospel: sin, forgiveness, Jesus and the cross. Significantly, although he always sought to reach out to those outside the church, his efforts never involved any compromise of his beliefs. Yet the strength of Tim’s preaching was that it was supported by more than intellectual conviction: he had met with Jesus and knew that only Jesus could change lives.
Second, Tim’s preaching had grace. There was a warmth and gentleness in his preaching and writing that warmed people to him and to Christ. One of his endearing characteristics was the way that, whether you read him or heard him, you felt that he stood alongside you as a friend and guide. Tim cared and understood, and he offered invitations to a faith in Christ that were hard to refuse.
Third, Tim’s preaching had richness. If he saw the fundamentals of the gospel message as fixed and unchanging, he also saw the significance of the gospel as extraordinarily broad. For him, coming to faith in Christ was not any sort of final destination but a beginning; the opening of a door to a new world, full of every sort of implication for how to live and think. It seemed that Tim could never talk or write on a subject without casting some fresh light on it from the gospel. That he could do this reflected not just his sharp intelligence, but his labours of reading and thinking extensively and deeply on a vast range of subjects. Tim was a firm believer in Abraham Kuyper’s famous phrase, ‘There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry, “Mine!”’ Tim believed the key to effectively reaching out to those outside the faith was not to offer an insipid, watered-down gospel, but rather the very opposite; to present a richer, deeper message that captivated and won minds and hearts.
Fourth, Tim’s preaching had courage. He had an unshakeable faith that the message of Christ was for everybody; it was what, at depth, all men and women ultimately needed and longed for. That conviction gave him the vision and the courage to take risks. At a time when many people said that the inner cities, with their liberal secular masses, were no-go areas for evangelicals, Tim rejected any idea of retreating and took the gospel to the troubled and turbulent heart of New York. There, to the surprise of many – but not I think to him – his preaching found a receptive hearing.
Tim’s courage showed elsewhere. His growing ministry and his many books made him not only a public figure but, inevitably, an obvious target and he found himself under verbal attack, often from within Christianity, for what he said – or didn’t say – on theological or political issues. Undeterred, determined and ever peaceable, Tim simply pressed on with sharing Jesus.
Main Photo of Tim Keller courtesy of Gospel in Life
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Sport: Drama doesn’t even come close to defining it! Notts County’s return to the EFL
What has the epic conclusion to the 2022/23 Vanarama National League got to do with the legendary authors Dame Agatha Christie, Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle and Raymond Chandler? Stay with me for the full ninety minutes, plus added time, a wedge of extra time, and penalties, and I’ll reveal all.
But first, I’d like to take a health check. Being a Notts County fan since I was a kid has had its fair share of stresses. Some may say that picking the black and white army over our noisy red neighbours across the River Trent (with arguably a slightly bigger trophy room) is where it all started. My decision was made, aged ten, when my dad took me to my first game, so cut me some slack! As if to edify this notion, in 2007 The Telegraph newspaper revealed that Notts were the most stressful team to support; and even though I have physically strayed from my city of birth, the emotional ties have remained strong. Being a season ticket holder facing a five hour, or more, return journey for each home game surely qualifies me as insane; I counter this claim by stating the obvious; this club is part of my roots. My heritage. My elations (at birth my two kids were enrolled as junior Magpies). My losses (I miss my dad). It’s part of my DNA, and this isn’t just an idle assertion.
In 2020, research published by the Centre for the Study of Social Cohesion at the University of Oxford, scientifically proved the synthesis of devoted fans with their football clubs. The field study took place during the 2014 World Cup in Brazil where the saliva of a control group of fans was taken prior, during, and post match, including the home nation’s semi-final loss to Germany.
Researcher Dr Martha Newson revealed: “Cortisol rocketed during live games for the fans who were highly fused to the team.” She also concluded: “Fans who are strongly fused with their team, that is, have a strong sense of being ‘one’ with their team, experience the greatest physiological stress response when watching a match.”
This fifth tier title race was akin to a classic whodunnit. Twists and turns aplenty before FC Hollywood (aka Wrexham AFC co-owned by actors Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney) deservedly took the crown with a title winning tally of 111 points, four ahead of Notts. By any previous established rules of engagement County, who scored 117 goals, led by the League’s all time record goal machine Macaulay Langstaff, would have been champions. Yet this wasn’t your standard storyline and the playoffs beckoned.
These sudden death battles are great if your team has already secured promotion and you can watch from the comfort of your armchair, but when you are in them form often means nothing; it’s all down to passion, pride, fate, and fortune. Collectively, the named classic mystery writers couldn’t have penned anything more theatrical.
The semi-final against Boreham Wood, from whom Notts had finished a clear thirty-five points ahead, arrived at Meadow Lane with nothing to lose. They were 2-0 up at halftime and no doubt, had he been there, horror writer Stephen King would have commenced his next book. But the English novelist William Shakespeare grabbed his quill and busily finished the script. An Aden Baldwin piledriver from distance on 47 minutes made us dream, and his last gasp equaliser made over fifteen thousand hearts beat that much faster. In the last minute of extra time the final line of this poetic pleasure was written, with the local hero known as Jodi Jones, as his screamer of a shot sent the Magpies to Wembley for the playoff final.
My cortisol levels had reached celestial heights, but Notts still had the final to negotiate with perennial foes Chesterfield. Entering the historic arena dominated by its awesome arch, each fan knew of the ultimate consequence: one of the best or worst days. Blinding light or dramatic darkness. Joy or anguish. The playoffs never offer an in-between.
Cue a stage show that defied the law of gravity. The Spireites took an early lead with an Andrew Dallas penalty and, as the second half ebbed ever closer to the end, up stepped John Bostock to drill home the equaliser on 87 minutes. Extra-time kept the ultimate cocktail of raw emotions alive.
Chesterfield did it again. With an almost arrogant disregard of aching limbs Armando Dobra spectacularly carved out an utter masterclass in finishing from distance. Was this going to be another horror show? Not quite, as Rúben Rodrigues embodied the never-say-die mental fortitude of Notts remarkable team spirit, with an exceptional equaliser.
Penalties it was, and all those not so latent doubts resurfaced as my stress response reached fever pitch. Having come on as a substitute late in the second half, Archie Mair had spectacularly saved two spot kicks, meanwhile I couldn’t even compute if we had another chance of victory, the astonishing miss by John Bostock had caused my internal fight or flight syndrome to simply subside. I was emotionally spent. A gaze at the scoreboard brought it home. A successful attempt by Cedwyn Scott would propel us back to the promised land, the English Football League, and we would reclaim our rightful title of the world’s oldest football league club. He did it and my cortisol careered like a Catherine wheel around my body, attaining levels I’d rarely reached before. There was only remedy; who cares if people saw me crying!
As for our gallant opponents, spare a thought for those loyal fans who left well in advance of the on-field celebrations. Dr Newson made an ominous cortisol overture: “It was particularly high during games where their team lost.”
Anyone who says it’s just a game simply doesn’t get it.
Come on you Pies!
A cortisol commentary cam – a must watch!
All photographs and text: © Ian Kirke 2023.
@ianjkirke